|
|
MFA: The Parenting Edition Show Notes
Episode 27 - If We're Being Honest
What do you stand for? Are you clear about what is important to you? Are you resilient?
Just a few of the questions we explore in this episode that is more a confessional and reflection on life than a specific examination of a theatre lesson.
Today's Raise a Glass Series lyric from Hamilton: An American Musical is:
"I may not live to see our glory, but I will gladly join the fight, and when our children tell our story, they'll tell the story of tonight"
Every Wednesday on Instagram we play Word Scramble Wednesday where you have to solve the name of the play and DM the answer to win. This week there are two shout-outs for recent winners! You could get a shout-out on the podcast too if you play.
Email: [email protected]
Instagram: @mfaparentingedition
Buy me a drink to show your love: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/mfaparenting
Full Transcript:
Taisha Cameron
Angelica, can you say hello?
Angelica
Heyo.
Taisha Cameron
How are you today?
Angelica
I doing well.
Taisha Cameron
You asked me, how are you?
Angelica
How are you?
Taisha Cameron
Well, I'm doing well also.
Welcome to MFA, The Parenting Edition. I'm Taisha Cameron. These lessons from the theater for raising ourselves and our kids came about when I realized my MFA in acting trained me for life as a mommy better than life as a full time actor. Today's episode is about resilience, clarity, and our big, why? There'll be challenging questions, stories, and we'll end up pisode with The Raise a Glass Series. So, without further ado, this is MFA.
Episode 27 - If We're Being Honest
So much to say so much to say so much to say so much to say, baby, I feel like I have so much to say. And it's been hard to get it all down. So let's backtrack a little bit. A few days ago, I was listening to an episode of Sarah Mikatel's Podcasting Step by Step where she talked about communicating, what you stand for in your podcast. If you're a podcaster, or thinking about starting one, she is definitely someone I'd recommend you listening to for great help and getting started. So listening to her speak made me realize how in the last seven to eight months since launching this show, I've come to a few standstill moments of what the fuck am I doing? No one cares. Why am I creating this? Does the world really need another podcaster, especially another parenting podcast from someone who is not some world renowned expert in the field? Because I mean, if we're being honest, there is so much work involved in the creation of this that I don't think I anticipated. And I'm not scared off by the work. I wish I had all the hours in the day to do it. I'm concerned that the more I give to this, the less I give to Angelica and my husband, my family. And in doing so, am I creating a parenting podcast that is making me show up as less of the mother she needs and I want to be for her? And believe me, I don't do this for the money. Okay. So why? Why do I do this? What do I stand for? How does this creative endeavor of mine into the world of podcasting aligned with my beliefs, what I stand for, and support the type of human I want to grow into and the type of Mother I want to be for my child.
There are terrorists in our country targeting Asian Americans. There are cops who kill unarmed black people, but never seem to kill the perpetrator of a mass shooting, who tend to be white, there are Latin families still trying to be reunited after being ripped apart at the border. There are black brown people of color, indigenous people and women of all races and ethnicities. And people of all gender identities who are being oppressed, killed and made to feel unsafe or shame for being what and who they were authentically created to be in this world. There are children being trafficked people dying of COVID and other diseases. There are people of varying abilities who are made to feel less than because they don't function at the same level as what has been considered normal. There are those who cannot pay their bills because they're underpaid. There are people who can't get the education they need to excel in their work because they can't afford it. There are people who are unemployed, homeless, abandoned, neglected and rejected by society. We are a world consumed by the need to keep up with what everyone else is doing and judging our lives by those images, and then consume as much shit as advertisers can convince us to buy to feel better about ourselves, or make ourselves seem better than other people. We are a world full of so much stress that is quite literally killing us.
So why have I created a parenting podcast revolved around lessons we can learn from the theater? Is that what the world needs? What the world needs now, is Love, sweet love. It's the only thing now there's just too little love. But really, all we need is love? Is that all we need right now? I don't know if that's the answer. But getting back to my original question, Is this podcast what the world needs? Now, my obvious answer should be yes. It has to be Right? We need to defend the things we're passionate about. Because if not us, then who will? My answer really is, No, the world doesn't need what I have to say. The world doesn't need what most of us have to say. In fact, all of us humans, talk too fucking much. We don't listen enough. And not just listen to the words people say, but where it's coming from the energy and pain or joy that triggers those words to come out of our mouth, and then take up airspace, and then land on someone else with whatever pain or joy that brings them. We all need to learn when to shut up. It's that when that's the most important because we all need to be able to speak out about what's important. But we need to figure out what that really is first, the why. What do we stand for? And these ideas and ideals we feel we stand for? Are they individually dissected and accepted? Or are they the ideas that have been planted in our heads from society, our parents lived experiences and their parents and a huge long legacy of generational baggage we've started carrying without much question. Most of the time, we talk on our ass about what we think or heaven forbid, believe is important. Believe or belief is such a dangerous word. Because I feel like once we say this is something I believe this is my belief, then what we're really saying is, this is me ending the conversation because there is absolutely no way I will ever allow myself to be challenged on this thing I just said and if I am challenged, I will dig my heels in so much because I said the word believe that I will in fact make it part of who I am. And I will always see the world No matter how much the world might give me the opportunity to see it differently. I will not allow myself that experience. But my question really is, where did that idea come from? And what happens to you if that's taken away? If that is stripped? Who are you? Can we have the ability to challenge what we believe and challenge it to the point of saying you know what, I could be wrong. You know what this is actually hurting someone. my beliefs cause pain to other people. Because if they're causing so much pain, maybe it's not something worth holding on to.
My mind has been shifting through a lot of my beliefs, my beliefs, and ideas about the world and myself, which has been making it more difficult for me to write the solo episodes that I've wanted to. I have more conversations for the artistic parenting series that I could have shared the last two weeks instead of a quick check in and then nothing last week. But I've been stubbornly trying to write some solo episodes that are right now not working for me. Last week, I finally had to let it go and that gender episode I was trying to write, I had to say bye bye bye to it. Because one, my head was going to split open and two, Angelica got some news that put the show on the back burner to my family. And I say that knowing I still kept all the things I needed or wanted to do with the podcast running through my brain, even if I wasn't making active moves to execute any of them at the time.
Back in Episode Four, I talked about Angelica' story, her congenital brain conditions, our pregnancy, the early part of her story, you can go back and listen to that for more context. But right now all you need to know is that her shunt due to hydrocephalus looked like it wasn't working properly. And her neurosurgeon last week said we'd need surgery. Now for parents with kids that have hydrocephalus or adults living with it, you know that shunts don't last forever. So at some point, another surgery will have to be done. We were all prepared this Wednesday to go in and get this fixed so she didn't experience a full shunt malfunction down the road. And before surgery, they wanted to get a CT scan to see if the changes they made in her programmable shunt last week made any difference. Well, it did. While we're back in pre op waiting for the anesthesiologist to come, in her neurosurgeon an Rn come in to tell us the change they made helped more fluid drain out of her head and so they were canceling surgery. Hallelujah!!! Mind you we had an MRI done last month an adjustment made to her shunt that made no difference. If we had gone off of last month's MRI and not done another one with another adjustment this kid most definitely would have had a surgery. This kid of ours became only the second child her surgeon had seen in all of her surgeries on kids with hydrocephalus in which they canceled surgery because the adjustment they made worked. Talk about changing your beliefs. We believed this surgery was happening. We believed this was absolutely necessary for Angelica's well being, if we had not done a follow up MRI, and just gone with the first one in February, she would have had surgery because we believed it would have been the best thing for her to prevent a full shunt malfunction. And yet new evidence came up, we allowed ourselves to try something new, give it more time, really see what someone is capable of doing, what science is capable of doing, what the human brain and body are capable of doing, and and allowing that space in giving trust to the possibility that our beliefs could be changed. They were.
*Angelica Interlude*
Piano playing
As I was reflecting on this experience, I wondered what lessons from the theater helped me during this time. I mean, that's what the show is about right, lessons from the theater for raising ourselves and our kids. So let's put it to the test. What concrete lessons have I learned that carried me through this journey? Trust, clarity. I was clear on the objective. Get Angelica shunt working properly, prepare her for surgery so her three year old mind can comprehend what is going to happen to her stay focused on keeping her calm and centered and informed because she's the one going through the procedure, work with the medical team to have the best plan in place for Angelica's health and well being. My actions, to advocate to come to educate to comfort, I trusted that the team was going to show up on their side, so I needed to show up on our side and prepare Angelica to have the same trust in the process. The same way I would trust that once on stage, the cast that's taking the stage with me is going to continue to work together to tell the story that needs to be told that the stage manager production team, all members of the creative team and House staff are going to do their part of this for this to be successful. Because we're all working towards a common goal. And when everyone is clear on their role, and there's trust from everyone involved, that's when magic happens.
A Short story Before We Go
Resilience
"How's it going?" And with that one question my face communicates, "this fucking podcast." As my husband stands by the bedroom door and begins telling me about his last few weeks of work and how tough they've been, and we start talking about Angelica and how she's doing and developing, he says "and then I thought about our family values, resilience." As my eyes got glossy, and my chest fills with the largest breath, I feel it's taken all day he warmly smiles at me and then closes the doors he leaves. There's a lift in my heart. I know I can and will figure out all the things I need to make this project thrive and our family thrive and bring the fun back. Right now it's in a weird law and feeling off beat because, well, that's who I am. I've been very conflicted about the nature of this thing I've created and my goals and intentions for it. Which is why creating each episode and keeping up with marketing, promoting showing up on social media is becoming such a chore. What started as a fun, enjoyable creative outlet is turning into a nightmare to my self confidence and ego. Stuck, stagnant, uncertain. But the beauty of what he said and why it's so deeply resonated with me is, our family values conversation was due to an episode I created for the podcast. In choosing to explore that topic it made us sit down and talk about our family values and name what was important to us. Resilience, building resilience was way up high on both of our lists. There's going to be a lot of shit in life and of our own creation that will try to knock us down or break us down. A resilient spirit will always find a way to stand back up. It fights to stay in the game stay vital, stay alive. Going through grad school, year one is designed to break you down to build you up. And not everyone wants to put up with that psychological nonsense or mentally can, being a parent will bring you to your knees praying for divine intervention because your spirit feels crushed. And most of us find a way to keep getting back up to move forward. Resilience is what keeps the human spirit moving forward. It is what builds our character. A few weeks after our talk about family values, he tosses it back at me like a little gift, a gift that helped us both when we needed it most.
This podcast grew out of my desire for creative expression, and wanting to share these stories with other parents and creatives who needed a laugh, wanted to feel supported and yearn to find another way of connecting to themselves and their kids. Those were the things that excited me. I am looking to re excite myself. Why does that sound dirty? It's not intended to be. Anyway. I feel I need to say this. And then after I throw it out there, we can just move past it. I feel like a fraud like that crazy imposter syndrome shit. But it's also part of the secret way I feel about myself. I'm a terrible actor. Okay, let me rephrase that, I'm a good actor who is terrible at being engaged with the theatrical community and all things acting related really. I was inconsistent and non aggressive when it came to marketing myself and promoting me as my business. I don't read reviews of shows, don't read too many plays, don't go to the theater mode, or watch as many TV shows, or movies as fellow artists do or probably should. I'm kind of lazy when it comes to that stuff. I don't have a crazy long resume of shows and credits that I've been doing forever. I haven't been doing this since I was a kid. I've spent a lot of my life fumbling around trying to find my footing and place where I belong. When people in the business say if you can do anything else you should, well, I can and have. I think that's true for most artists because that's how you support yourself. What I've been learning about myself going through this process. And since becoming a mother is how much pressure I put on myself based on my own insecurities of inadequacy. I feel like I have people talking in my head all day second guessing every decision I make about my daughter, every line I write for an episode, every move I make to try to get more organized. My brain is just a radio that is on scan jumping from one expert I heard on this podcast to one expert I read on that Instagram blog to one Mom, I heard I make a comment at the playground and blah blah blah and on and on it goes. I want to refocus my energy on this show so I am showing up fully and being less overwhelmed by it and you're getting the best stories, laughs and insights I can give you into theater and parenting because it does matter. Theater is vital. The arts are vital to our existence and evolution as humans. They have been with every civilization from the beginning of time. Performance and storytelling has been a significant form of connection and celebration since it was solely for the purpose of religious ceremonies. It has evolved to tell our history, shape people's perspectives, educate, inspire, and entertain us when you're going through a year long global pandemic. Theater is about human connection. And that is what you're doing as a parent, connecting with another human. If there were ever two areas that complement each other more it is parenting and acting, and and not just acting, but the whole theater family. I spend my days playing director, actor, playwright, stage manager, set designer, costume designer, choreographer and all the other hats you can wear when I'm taking care of my three year old daughter. I even noticed her stepping into these roles. And sometimes it seems like it's biting me in the ass when she's like, no, Mommy, that's my line. But other times, I couldn't be more proud of how she's learning to navigate the world around her through creative play and studying human behavior.
What I'm going to do is finish up Season Two with the rest of the artistic parenting series, I have a bunch more conversations with other artists I'm excited to share with you. And I might slip in two more episodes from the play series I began with Fences last month. I told you at the beginning of the year, this season was all about changes. This year is all about change. And I've had to find acceptance with the changes that have been going on in my personal life and podcasting life...which is very personal. So, I don't know they're also interconnected. If you're down to grow as a human and parent, if you're down to laugh, cry, and feel all the feels, if you're down to challenge your beliefs and ideas about people in the world, then stick with me and let's continue to stretch our imaginations and evolve our souls together. I want to hear from you. If you are a parent or artist or both that wants to share your story, email me at [email protected]. Don't worry, I will put that in the show notes. And tell me your story. Or better yet. If you're down, let's chat and be part of the artistic parenting series. And you could tell all your friends I was interviewed on a podcast. I want to know the plays that inspire you that you'd want to discuss on the show, the artists that impact you, the struggles you're having as a parent. Shakespeare said, "all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players" so let's play and learn how to raise ourselves and our kids to be the best humans we can.
The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the musical.
“I may not live to see our glory. But I will gladly join the fight. And when our children tell our story, they'll tell the story of tonight.”
My story is not epic. It's probably pretty boring. But it's laced with moments of courage, heartbreak, trauma, triumph, adventure and change. I'm a person who is very private, prideful, shameful, fearful, all the fulls. But tonight, on the fourth anniversary of my grandpa's passing, a man who meant the world to me, I feel energized. I feel energized to show up in a way that I feel has been very difficult for me the last few weeks. Every epic story, or at least an interesting enough story to read about, starts with a character deciding to make a change, to move forward in some way towards the unknown and scary "Into the unknown," Elsa stop, go away. I want to show up for my life, honoring the uncertain time I have left, in ways that make me more alive and engaged with what truly matters to me. What truly matters to me right now is how to show up as a more respectful, conscious human being of integrity and resilience. Stepping into this role, and it's hard, is the most important thing I can do right now for myself and my daughter and my family and I believe for my community and world as a whole. If I teach her this, and she will teach others and her kids, if she chooses to have any kids, but she will spread that respect for herself and others and empower people to do the same. My epic adventure is to step out of my comfort zone, face my pride, shame and fear and be...and be fully alive and connected to the world and not live in the bubble of first world privilege. To actually start standing up for people who need an advocate. My daughter has taught me to be an advocate, theatre has taught me how to use my voice. Now the two must come together. So when Angelica tells my story, she'll tell the story of how a little black Puerto Rican girl from the Bronx who grew up in the burbs, stepped out of her safe bubble to change what she could in the world. Let's raise a glass to going on the epic adventure of our life. May you figure out what you stand for and go forth and share that with the world.
That's all for today Guys and Dolls. Thank you for joining me again on another episode. This week I have two shout outs before we go. Every Wednesday on Instagram I post a word scramble game where you have to guess the name of a play. Because I didn't air an episode last week I have two winners to celebrate today. The first is Miss Lyndsay on Instagram as @lcorbett26 for correctly answering The Clean House by Sarah Ruhl. Lyndsay you're awesome. Lyndsay. You're amazing. Lyndsay. You're the smartest girl in the world. Yay Lyndsay thanks for playing. Now this week St. Patty's Day word scramble. Wednesday. Winner is Rachel on Instagram at @rachelaraujo16 for correctly answering Waiting for Godot for Irish playwright, Samuel Beckett. It's been a long time since I've done an Irish accent Ladies and gentlemen, that was probably terrible. But you know, we'll go with it. Rachel, you are this week's winner. Rachel, you are awesome. Yes, you are. Rachel. You won Word Scramble Wednesday. Congratulations, Rachel. I hope to see both of you ladies competing again next week for a chance to win another Word Scramble Wednesday. And for all of you that have not checked out the game or it's been a little while since you've played just go to @mfaparentingedition on Instagram every Wednesday and play along. Again, thank you guys so much. And I'll see you on the other side.
Angelica, can you say goodbye.
Angelica
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Taisha Cameron
Thank you.
Angelica
Thank you.
Episode 27 - If We're Being Honest
What do you stand for? Are you clear about what is important to you? Are you resilient?
Just a few of the questions we explore in this episode that is more a confessional and reflection on life than a specific examination of a theatre lesson.
Today's Raise a Glass Series lyric from Hamilton: An American Musical is:
"I may not live to see our glory, but I will gladly join the fight, and when our children tell our story, they'll tell the story of tonight"
Every Wednesday on Instagram we play Word Scramble Wednesday where you have to solve the name of the play and DM the answer to win. This week there are two shout-outs for recent winners! You could get a shout-out on the podcast too if you play.
Email: [email protected]
Instagram: @mfaparentingedition
Buy me a drink to show your love: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/mfaparenting
Full Transcript:
Taisha Cameron
Angelica, can you say hello?
Angelica
Heyo.
Taisha Cameron
How are you today?
Angelica
I doing well.
Taisha Cameron
You asked me, how are you?
Angelica
How are you?
Taisha Cameron
Well, I'm doing well also.
Welcome to MFA, The Parenting Edition. I'm Taisha Cameron. These lessons from the theater for raising ourselves and our kids came about when I realized my MFA in acting trained me for life as a mommy better than life as a full time actor. Today's episode is about resilience, clarity, and our big, why? There'll be challenging questions, stories, and we'll end up pisode with The Raise a Glass Series. So, without further ado, this is MFA.
Episode 27 - If We're Being Honest
So much to say so much to say so much to say so much to say, baby, I feel like I have so much to say. And it's been hard to get it all down. So let's backtrack a little bit. A few days ago, I was listening to an episode of Sarah Mikatel's Podcasting Step by Step where she talked about communicating, what you stand for in your podcast. If you're a podcaster, or thinking about starting one, she is definitely someone I'd recommend you listening to for great help and getting started. So listening to her speak made me realize how in the last seven to eight months since launching this show, I've come to a few standstill moments of what the fuck am I doing? No one cares. Why am I creating this? Does the world really need another podcaster, especially another parenting podcast from someone who is not some world renowned expert in the field? Because I mean, if we're being honest, there is so much work involved in the creation of this that I don't think I anticipated. And I'm not scared off by the work. I wish I had all the hours in the day to do it. I'm concerned that the more I give to this, the less I give to Angelica and my husband, my family. And in doing so, am I creating a parenting podcast that is making me show up as less of the mother she needs and I want to be for her? And believe me, I don't do this for the money. Okay. So why? Why do I do this? What do I stand for? How does this creative endeavor of mine into the world of podcasting aligned with my beliefs, what I stand for, and support the type of human I want to grow into and the type of Mother I want to be for my child.
There are terrorists in our country targeting Asian Americans. There are cops who kill unarmed black people, but never seem to kill the perpetrator of a mass shooting, who tend to be white, there are Latin families still trying to be reunited after being ripped apart at the border. There are black brown people of color, indigenous people and women of all races and ethnicities. And people of all gender identities who are being oppressed, killed and made to feel unsafe or shame for being what and who they were authentically created to be in this world. There are children being trafficked people dying of COVID and other diseases. There are people of varying abilities who are made to feel less than because they don't function at the same level as what has been considered normal. There are those who cannot pay their bills because they're underpaid. There are people who can't get the education they need to excel in their work because they can't afford it. There are people who are unemployed, homeless, abandoned, neglected and rejected by society. We are a world consumed by the need to keep up with what everyone else is doing and judging our lives by those images, and then consume as much shit as advertisers can convince us to buy to feel better about ourselves, or make ourselves seem better than other people. We are a world full of so much stress that is quite literally killing us.
So why have I created a parenting podcast revolved around lessons we can learn from the theater? Is that what the world needs? What the world needs now, is Love, sweet love. It's the only thing now there's just too little love. But really, all we need is love? Is that all we need right now? I don't know if that's the answer. But getting back to my original question, Is this podcast what the world needs? Now, my obvious answer should be yes. It has to be Right? We need to defend the things we're passionate about. Because if not us, then who will? My answer really is, No, the world doesn't need what I have to say. The world doesn't need what most of us have to say. In fact, all of us humans, talk too fucking much. We don't listen enough. And not just listen to the words people say, but where it's coming from the energy and pain or joy that triggers those words to come out of our mouth, and then take up airspace, and then land on someone else with whatever pain or joy that brings them. We all need to learn when to shut up. It's that when that's the most important because we all need to be able to speak out about what's important. But we need to figure out what that really is first, the why. What do we stand for? And these ideas and ideals we feel we stand for? Are they individually dissected and accepted? Or are they the ideas that have been planted in our heads from society, our parents lived experiences and their parents and a huge long legacy of generational baggage we've started carrying without much question. Most of the time, we talk on our ass about what we think or heaven forbid, believe is important. Believe or belief is such a dangerous word. Because I feel like once we say this is something I believe this is my belief, then what we're really saying is, this is me ending the conversation because there is absolutely no way I will ever allow myself to be challenged on this thing I just said and if I am challenged, I will dig my heels in so much because I said the word believe that I will in fact make it part of who I am. And I will always see the world No matter how much the world might give me the opportunity to see it differently. I will not allow myself that experience. But my question really is, where did that idea come from? And what happens to you if that's taken away? If that is stripped? Who are you? Can we have the ability to challenge what we believe and challenge it to the point of saying you know what, I could be wrong. You know what this is actually hurting someone. my beliefs cause pain to other people. Because if they're causing so much pain, maybe it's not something worth holding on to.
My mind has been shifting through a lot of my beliefs, my beliefs, and ideas about the world and myself, which has been making it more difficult for me to write the solo episodes that I've wanted to. I have more conversations for the artistic parenting series that I could have shared the last two weeks instead of a quick check in and then nothing last week. But I've been stubbornly trying to write some solo episodes that are right now not working for me. Last week, I finally had to let it go and that gender episode I was trying to write, I had to say bye bye bye to it. Because one, my head was going to split open and two, Angelica got some news that put the show on the back burner to my family. And I say that knowing I still kept all the things I needed or wanted to do with the podcast running through my brain, even if I wasn't making active moves to execute any of them at the time.
Back in Episode Four, I talked about Angelica' story, her congenital brain conditions, our pregnancy, the early part of her story, you can go back and listen to that for more context. But right now all you need to know is that her shunt due to hydrocephalus looked like it wasn't working properly. And her neurosurgeon last week said we'd need surgery. Now for parents with kids that have hydrocephalus or adults living with it, you know that shunts don't last forever. So at some point, another surgery will have to be done. We were all prepared this Wednesday to go in and get this fixed so she didn't experience a full shunt malfunction down the road. And before surgery, they wanted to get a CT scan to see if the changes they made in her programmable shunt last week made any difference. Well, it did. While we're back in pre op waiting for the anesthesiologist to come, in her neurosurgeon an Rn come in to tell us the change they made helped more fluid drain out of her head and so they were canceling surgery. Hallelujah!!! Mind you we had an MRI done last month an adjustment made to her shunt that made no difference. If we had gone off of last month's MRI and not done another one with another adjustment this kid most definitely would have had a surgery. This kid of ours became only the second child her surgeon had seen in all of her surgeries on kids with hydrocephalus in which they canceled surgery because the adjustment they made worked. Talk about changing your beliefs. We believed this surgery was happening. We believed this was absolutely necessary for Angelica's well being, if we had not done a follow up MRI, and just gone with the first one in February, she would have had surgery because we believed it would have been the best thing for her to prevent a full shunt malfunction. And yet new evidence came up, we allowed ourselves to try something new, give it more time, really see what someone is capable of doing, what science is capable of doing, what the human brain and body are capable of doing, and and allowing that space in giving trust to the possibility that our beliefs could be changed. They were.
*Angelica Interlude*
Piano playing
As I was reflecting on this experience, I wondered what lessons from the theater helped me during this time. I mean, that's what the show is about right, lessons from the theater for raising ourselves and our kids. So let's put it to the test. What concrete lessons have I learned that carried me through this journey? Trust, clarity. I was clear on the objective. Get Angelica shunt working properly, prepare her for surgery so her three year old mind can comprehend what is going to happen to her stay focused on keeping her calm and centered and informed because she's the one going through the procedure, work with the medical team to have the best plan in place for Angelica's health and well being. My actions, to advocate to come to educate to comfort, I trusted that the team was going to show up on their side, so I needed to show up on our side and prepare Angelica to have the same trust in the process. The same way I would trust that once on stage, the cast that's taking the stage with me is going to continue to work together to tell the story that needs to be told that the stage manager production team, all members of the creative team and House staff are going to do their part of this for this to be successful. Because we're all working towards a common goal. And when everyone is clear on their role, and there's trust from everyone involved, that's when magic happens.
A Short story Before We Go
Resilience
"How's it going?" And with that one question my face communicates, "this fucking podcast." As my husband stands by the bedroom door and begins telling me about his last few weeks of work and how tough they've been, and we start talking about Angelica and how she's doing and developing, he says "and then I thought about our family values, resilience." As my eyes got glossy, and my chest fills with the largest breath, I feel it's taken all day he warmly smiles at me and then closes the doors he leaves. There's a lift in my heart. I know I can and will figure out all the things I need to make this project thrive and our family thrive and bring the fun back. Right now it's in a weird law and feeling off beat because, well, that's who I am. I've been very conflicted about the nature of this thing I've created and my goals and intentions for it. Which is why creating each episode and keeping up with marketing, promoting showing up on social media is becoming such a chore. What started as a fun, enjoyable creative outlet is turning into a nightmare to my self confidence and ego. Stuck, stagnant, uncertain. But the beauty of what he said and why it's so deeply resonated with me is, our family values conversation was due to an episode I created for the podcast. In choosing to explore that topic it made us sit down and talk about our family values and name what was important to us. Resilience, building resilience was way up high on both of our lists. There's going to be a lot of shit in life and of our own creation that will try to knock us down or break us down. A resilient spirit will always find a way to stand back up. It fights to stay in the game stay vital, stay alive. Going through grad school, year one is designed to break you down to build you up. And not everyone wants to put up with that psychological nonsense or mentally can, being a parent will bring you to your knees praying for divine intervention because your spirit feels crushed. And most of us find a way to keep getting back up to move forward. Resilience is what keeps the human spirit moving forward. It is what builds our character. A few weeks after our talk about family values, he tosses it back at me like a little gift, a gift that helped us both when we needed it most.
This podcast grew out of my desire for creative expression, and wanting to share these stories with other parents and creatives who needed a laugh, wanted to feel supported and yearn to find another way of connecting to themselves and their kids. Those were the things that excited me. I am looking to re excite myself. Why does that sound dirty? It's not intended to be. Anyway. I feel I need to say this. And then after I throw it out there, we can just move past it. I feel like a fraud like that crazy imposter syndrome shit. But it's also part of the secret way I feel about myself. I'm a terrible actor. Okay, let me rephrase that, I'm a good actor who is terrible at being engaged with the theatrical community and all things acting related really. I was inconsistent and non aggressive when it came to marketing myself and promoting me as my business. I don't read reviews of shows, don't read too many plays, don't go to the theater mode, or watch as many TV shows, or movies as fellow artists do or probably should. I'm kind of lazy when it comes to that stuff. I don't have a crazy long resume of shows and credits that I've been doing forever. I haven't been doing this since I was a kid. I've spent a lot of my life fumbling around trying to find my footing and place where I belong. When people in the business say if you can do anything else you should, well, I can and have. I think that's true for most artists because that's how you support yourself. What I've been learning about myself going through this process. And since becoming a mother is how much pressure I put on myself based on my own insecurities of inadequacy. I feel like I have people talking in my head all day second guessing every decision I make about my daughter, every line I write for an episode, every move I make to try to get more organized. My brain is just a radio that is on scan jumping from one expert I heard on this podcast to one expert I read on that Instagram blog to one Mom, I heard I make a comment at the playground and blah blah blah and on and on it goes. I want to refocus my energy on this show so I am showing up fully and being less overwhelmed by it and you're getting the best stories, laughs and insights I can give you into theater and parenting because it does matter. Theater is vital. The arts are vital to our existence and evolution as humans. They have been with every civilization from the beginning of time. Performance and storytelling has been a significant form of connection and celebration since it was solely for the purpose of religious ceremonies. It has evolved to tell our history, shape people's perspectives, educate, inspire, and entertain us when you're going through a year long global pandemic. Theater is about human connection. And that is what you're doing as a parent, connecting with another human. If there were ever two areas that complement each other more it is parenting and acting, and and not just acting, but the whole theater family. I spend my days playing director, actor, playwright, stage manager, set designer, costume designer, choreographer and all the other hats you can wear when I'm taking care of my three year old daughter. I even noticed her stepping into these roles. And sometimes it seems like it's biting me in the ass when she's like, no, Mommy, that's my line. But other times, I couldn't be more proud of how she's learning to navigate the world around her through creative play and studying human behavior.
What I'm going to do is finish up Season Two with the rest of the artistic parenting series, I have a bunch more conversations with other artists I'm excited to share with you. And I might slip in two more episodes from the play series I began with Fences last month. I told you at the beginning of the year, this season was all about changes. This year is all about change. And I've had to find acceptance with the changes that have been going on in my personal life and podcasting life...which is very personal. So, I don't know they're also interconnected. If you're down to grow as a human and parent, if you're down to laugh, cry, and feel all the feels, if you're down to challenge your beliefs and ideas about people in the world, then stick with me and let's continue to stretch our imaginations and evolve our souls together. I want to hear from you. If you are a parent or artist or both that wants to share your story, email me at [email protected]. Don't worry, I will put that in the show notes. And tell me your story. Or better yet. If you're down, let's chat and be part of the artistic parenting series. And you could tell all your friends I was interviewed on a podcast. I want to know the plays that inspire you that you'd want to discuss on the show, the artists that impact you, the struggles you're having as a parent. Shakespeare said, "all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players" so let's play and learn how to raise ourselves and our kids to be the best humans we can.
The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the musical.
“I may not live to see our glory. But I will gladly join the fight. And when our children tell our story, they'll tell the story of tonight.”
My story is not epic. It's probably pretty boring. But it's laced with moments of courage, heartbreak, trauma, triumph, adventure and change. I'm a person who is very private, prideful, shameful, fearful, all the fulls. But tonight, on the fourth anniversary of my grandpa's passing, a man who meant the world to me, I feel energized. I feel energized to show up in a way that I feel has been very difficult for me the last few weeks. Every epic story, or at least an interesting enough story to read about, starts with a character deciding to make a change, to move forward in some way towards the unknown and scary "Into the unknown," Elsa stop, go away. I want to show up for my life, honoring the uncertain time I have left, in ways that make me more alive and engaged with what truly matters to me. What truly matters to me right now is how to show up as a more respectful, conscious human being of integrity and resilience. Stepping into this role, and it's hard, is the most important thing I can do right now for myself and my daughter and my family and I believe for my community and world as a whole. If I teach her this, and she will teach others and her kids, if she chooses to have any kids, but she will spread that respect for herself and others and empower people to do the same. My epic adventure is to step out of my comfort zone, face my pride, shame and fear and be...and be fully alive and connected to the world and not live in the bubble of first world privilege. To actually start standing up for people who need an advocate. My daughter has taught me to be an advocate, theatre has taught me how to use my voice. Now the two must come together. So when Angelica tells my story, she'll tell the story of how a little black Puerto Rican girl from the Bronx who grew up in the burbs, stepped out of her safe bubble to change what she could in the world. Let's raise a glass to going on the epic adventure of our life. May you figure out what you stand for and go forth and share that with the world.
That's all for today Guys and Dolls. Thank you for joining me again on another episode. This week I have two shout outs before we go. Every Wednesday on Instagram I post a word scramble game where you have to guess the name of a play. Because I didn't air an episode last week I have two winners to celebrate today. The first is Miss Lyndsay on Instagram as @lcorbett26 for correctly answering The Clean House by Sarah Ruhl. Lyndsay you're awesome. Lyndsay. You're amazing. Lyndsay. You're the smartest girl in the world. Yay Lyndsay thanks for playing. Now this week St. Patty's Day word scramble. Wednesday. Winner is Rachel on Instagram at @rachelaraujo16 for correctly answering Waiting for Godot for Irish playwright, Samuel Beckett. It's been a long time since I've done an Irish accent Ladies and gentlemen, that was probably terrible. But you know, we'll go with it. Rachel, you are this week's winner. Rachel, you are awesome. Yes, you are. Rachel. You won Word Scramble Wednesday. Congratulations, Rachel. I hope to see both of you ladies competing again next week for a chance to win another Word Scramble Wednesday. And for all of you that have not checked out the game or it's been a little while since you've played just go to @mfaparentingedition on Instagram every Wednesday and play along. Again, thank you guys so much. And I'll see you on the other side.
Angelica, can you say goodbye.
Angelica
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Taisha Cameron
Thank you.
Angelica
Thank you.