MFA: THE PARENTING EDITION EPISODE 8 SHOW NOTES
Episode title: The Bath
Episode summary: What are inhibitions? What are the blocks we have that make it difficult to connect and engage with the world authentically? How can our kids help us open up? What can the overall-sensation exercise do to benefit our lives?
Previously on MFA
What is an Overall-Sensation
To Be Or Not To Be
Angelica Interlude
The Bath
A Short Story Before We Go:
The Raise a Glass Series:
Spread a Beautiful Act of Kindness:
Sources that inspired this episode or random tidbits of knowledge:
-------------
Full Transcript
Mom: Angelica, can you say hello?
Angelica: Hello! Hello?
Mom: How are you today?
Angelica: I doing well…how are you?
Mom: Well I’m doing well also. (she laughs)
Welcome to MFA: The Parenting Edition, I’m Taisha Cameron. These lessons from the theatre for raising ourselves and our kids came about when I realized my MFA in acting trained me for life as a mommy better than life as a full-time actor. Today’s episode is part four in our 7-part series on the Method and we’ll explore the overall-sensation exercise. We’ll explore some challenging questions, I’ll share some stories, and then we’ll end our episode with the Raise a Glass Series. So, without further ado, this is MFA.
Previously on MFA: The Parenting Edition
We contemplated our own impermanence. We questioned what brings us joy and how to relish the experience. We discussed the importance of discovering your life intention. We reflected on the purpose of sense memory work which is to highlight the transient nature of our thoughts, emotions and sensations.
Now you’re all caught up…of course if all of that meant nothing to you, you should probably go back and listen to episode seven.
Quote: “I not going to take a bath now cause I too busy doing work. No thank you.” My daughter, Angelica
Episode Eight – The Bath
Question – What are inhibitions? What are the blocks we have that make it difficult to connect and engage with the world authentically? How can our kids help us open up? What can the overall-sensation exercise do to benefit our lives?
[singing] Rubber duckie you’re the one, you make bath time lots of fun, rubber duckie I’m awfully fond of you, boo-boo-boo-bido [singing]
Well, here we are. We are met today to discuss our bathing hygiene. Not exactly. We are gathered here today to talk about the shit we carry and lock away and close ourselves off from and how that gets in the way of our development which in turn gets in the way of our children’s development. And what will help us access our blocked areas – why taking a bath of course! Obviously!...Ok, so maybe not taking a bath but exploring the overall-sensation exercise.
What is an Overall-Sensation
Overall-sensation exercises move sense memory from a local experience to a full body experience. Strasberg states in A Dream of Passion, that the exercises “continues to develop the senses as well as helps unblock areas of inhibition or that were locked.” While this exercise involves recreating sensations throughout our entire body, to begin we must activate each body part individually. Developing our senses, again puts us right into the present moment. It gets us out of our head and into our body.
These exercises include the bath, shower, sauna, cold wind, and rain. It might seem ridiculous to think that ‘acting exercises’ can be of benefit to anyone that’s not an actor. There’s so much richness in this work, and really to all acting techniques out there. I don’t want anyone to think because I’m focusing on the Method that I’m shitting on other styles…maybe Meisner but, just kidding, I kid I kid. I haven’t done enough work on Meisner to shit on it, I’m sure if I were to study it I would appreciate it and all it’s repetitive glory.
For the overall-sensation work, though, when we investigate it’s ability to enrich our lives we can so see so many positive attributes. The work:
Sensory work, in general, allows us greater opportunities to explore and express our emotional life. This helps us evolve as adults which in turn allows us to be more conscious, empathetic and respectful parents providing our children with the opportunity to express their emotional life fully. Parenting from this place encourages us to be more authoritative parent.
To Be or Not to Be
So you’ve chosen to be a parent. Congratulations! Now what the hell are you supposed to do with this tiny human. Obviously, feed it, nurture it, make sure it gets sleep…make sure you get sleep – just keep it alive. Weeeelll, it’s more than that. You must find a way to raise it without causing it more damage than necessary. Now are we all gonna screw up our kids? Absolutely! Did our parents screw us up a bit (maybe some more than others)? 100%! Will our kids do the same to their children? Without a doubt.
Now, knowing that we can choose to say, “Fuck it! I don’t have to change anything about how I feel about raising my kids cause no matter what I do I’m gonna screw them up anyway and doing all that conscious respectful parenting bullshit is just a lot more work than it’s worth,” OR we can say, “I chose to bring these children into the world and I want to give them the best shot I can to become good humans so I am choosing to put in this work to benefit their lives and the lives of those they will interact with.”
Which one did you choose? I went with option two. So the next question is, how do we do that? Well, there are different styles of parenting and the one that seems to get all the psychologists and child educators wet in their pants is the authoritative parenting style. It’s basically a balance between authoritarian parenting (it’s my way or the highway because I said so) and permissive parenting (I don’t really have a way, you pick the way, I’m just super sensitive to you being happy no matter what, just don’t make me put my foot down because I don’t know how). There are four main parenting styles, though I’ve found sites that have as many as 11 listed. I’ll put the links in the show notes if you want to read up on any of them. The truth of the matter is we are going to be a little bit of several parenting styles at any given moment because, as Dr. Aliza Pressman said in her podcast Raising Good Humans, “parenting styles are not static, they’re dynamic.” That sense of dynamics is true in the theatre world too, when you look at acting styles. There are several acting styles and techniques (which are also linked in the show notes) and an artist learns from as many as possible so they have a toolbox full of tools to help them get into a role. The method that works for you is whatever the hell the method is that works for you on any given role. Throughout my studies I’ve been exposed to Adler techniques and Hagen, Linklater and Stanislavsky, Grotowski and Viewpoints; there is so much out there to help become a better actor and the same is true for parenting. All you need is the intention to get better at it and that starts, like acting, with a lot of work on ourselves.
*Angelica Interlude
Mom: (in Elmo voice) Angelica’s mommy needs to finish changing Angelica and then, Angelica and Elmo can tickle each other again. Yay!
(Angelica giggles)
Mom: Wait for it wait for it wait. (laughing like Elmo)
Angelica: Wait a minute
Mom: (continues in Elmo voice) Wait a minute! What a kidder! (laughing)
Angelica: (giggling) What a kidder! Hahaha. Elmo do not want to take a bath. (laughing)
Mom: (laughing in mom voice now) Elmo does not want to take a bath? Elmo’s just like the pigeon. Whoa, oh my god this is like a war zone in here. Good god child.
(Angelica giggles)
Mom: The pit of despair over here, ohmigoodness.
Angelica: Ohmigoodness. Oh my dada oh my thada oh my goodness [lots of gibberish] oh my gawd.
(Mom laughs)
Angelica: Oh my goch!
(Mom and Angelica laughing)
Mom: Oh my Gawd!
Angelica: Oh my goch.
Mom: Oh my Gawd!
Angelica: Oh my goch. Say oh my goch.
Mom: Oh my goch!
Angelica: Oh my goch!
Mom: Oh my scotch!
Angelica: Oh my gawd!
Mom: Oh my gawd!
Angelica: Oh my god, oh my gawd!
Mom: Oh my god!
The Bath
How many people hate a warm bath? I’m sure there are some out there, but I wouldn’t think there’d be too many in that tribe. Whether you take them regularly or they’re a sweet treat you haven’t indulged in for many moons, a relaxing bath can be a luxurious way to decompress. Bubbles or Epson salt, candles and a good book, there are so many ways to enjoy a soak in the tub. However you choose to spend your bath time, dial into all the tiny sensations your body is experiencing. Do a little body scan starting at your toes and working your way up to your head to observe how each part of your body is responding. That’s the way to be in the moment during this experience, reading a book or listening to a podcast (omg if I make your list of tub time listening I will feel so honored I will sing the Happy Happy Joy Joy song)…but yes, reading a book and listening to podcasts and music are great ways to relax but if you wanna truly be in the moment then connect to your body. Once you’ve had this experience then it’s a great time to try the overall-sensation exercise and recreate it because you’ll already be so relaxed. Now of course if baths do not relax you, well, I don’t know why you would’ve been doing this exercise in the first place but that’s beside the point, but if you are more tense and stressed then before you got in the tub, I apologize and may you never do that ever again in your life. On the chance that it was a calming experience then attempt to recreate the sensations with the bath exercise. Start with one area of your body first and then expand your field of focus to other areas continuing to cover your entire body. It’s possible for strong emotional responses or intense sensations to wash over you. If that happens hooray! Celebrate our bath come on, we’re gonna scrub-udub our feelings out! Breathe through it, you got this! Let out sound, tears, whatever you’re experiencing. Let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore! That is opening yourself up, that is releasing inhibitions, that is unlocking areas that we’ve shut ourselves off to. Don’t try to stifle it away, let yourself feel whatever comes up and trust that as long as you don’t start judging it and dwelling on fear these feelings will dissipate when they have run their course. This is what it means to be human, to experience intense emotions, thoughts and sensations. You’ve done harder things in your life than feel your feelings; be one with yourself. It’s the only way we can teach our kids to do the same.
So lovelies, I’ll ask you again,
What are the blocks we have that make it difficult to connect and engage with the world authentically?
What can the overall-sensation exercise do to benefit our lives?
Our blocks and inhibitions started being created the moment we were born and were influenced by our parent or caregivers parenting style. Then as we grew we developed more of them due to society’s ideas of what is acceptable or not and what is valued in a human life and what we must squash away. What a gift it is then to be raised in a home that accepts you unconditionally while still holding the line on what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior, that allows you to express your emotional life fully without fear and still ingrains respect for others and their opinions and emotions. We can only achieve this if we’re willing to face our own inhibitions and thinking patterns. If we hold on to a specific way of thinking that does not serve the development of our family or creative work or world, that means we’re letting our ego run the show and that doesn’t serve anyone.
Parenting styles and acting styles are the same in that there are countless ways to reach your objective, you just need to find the way that works for you and your team to tell the story you long to tell. Acting and parenting are both about relationships. Our own inhibitions and blocks keep us from being the best artists and/or parents we can be. Our children, and humanity as a whole, deserve more than our unconscious selves trying to make conscious decisions.
A Short Story Before We Go
He was a legend. A Tony Award winning, Emmy winning legend. I was terrified of him.
His energy exuded badass seasoned New York actor not to be fucked with. When he walked into the building everyone who hadn’t had him as a teacher yet would stop, get quiet and watch him. I imagined third year in his class would be like walking into Debbie Allen’s dance studio in Fame. All the third years always spoke about him and how great he was and I had the feeling he wasn’t at all like I had imagined but he was a legend, a legend I was excitedly and anxiously waiting to learn from him. He wasn’t a tall man, but his presence made him enormous. He was quiet so mystery and intrigue followed him. He walked slightly hunched, baseball cap and avatar shades cloaking him. Mustard tan jacket, blue jeans and sneakers were his staple. His name, Ron Leibman.
During a scene study class he shared a story that made all of sense memory and our Method training make sense. His story was not unique, I’d heard countless teachers in the past share their own versions as a teaching tool for our work. When he spoke he never raised his voice, he wasn’t overly theatrical and showy. He spoke softly, slouched in his chair with his legs crossed. He spoke in a manner that made you want to lean in so you didn’t miss a word. He told us of a play he had worked on in which he could not connect with his co-star and they were supposed to be a loving married couple. For whatever the reason (and he might’ve told us but I unfortunately don’t recall), there had been a block between the two of them inhibiting a close relationship and it was their job to get passed that because of the demands of the story. He needed something that would aid him in creating warm feelings towards the actress and he thought of the bath exercise. He worked with it and found his energy shift and that shift made all the difference in opening the door to their relationship.
All the exercises in the Method, or any technique you are studying, are there to support you when you’re stuck. You won’t need to use them all for every role. The connection you need is with your scene partner. You and the rest of your cast mates, production and design team are all working together towards a common goal but that doesn’t mean everyone is going to agree consistently, get along all the time or even like each other from the get go. You don’t have to. What you need to do is respect the work and the collaborative process. For those weeks or months you are a family and must respect each other as one. As a mom there are days I wake up and I don’t wanna do the mommy routine. I would rather have my time to myself and not be required to take care of another person. But life is about relationships. Whether we’re interacting with our family, coworkers or strangers we are in control of how we respond and engage with them. It is our responsibility to find common ground, to find the ways to express empathy and compassion, to see past the shell and mask we all wear to get to know their soul. Sometimes what’s keeping us from being able to bridge this gap is not always resistance from the other person. Maybe all we need to bring more peace and compassion into our lives is one bath exercise away.
There were so many lessons I learned from Ron my last year of school but his patience and quiet openness to allow our exploration and his gentle questioning and encouragement taught me I wanted to emulate that leadership and human compassion. I was blessed to have had the opportunity to be a student of the late great Ron Leibman. When a great teacher comes into your life thank them because they truly are a gift.
Raise A Glass Series
The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
“Say no to this, I don’t say no to this, there is nowhere I can go, so, nobody needs to know.”
But we know. We know the things in our heart that we say no to either because it’s the right thing to do OR the things we reject, block or inhibit ourselves from experiencing out of fear, fear of judgement, fear of failure, the list of fears can go on. And shame, oh that’s a big one – google Brene Brown, she’ll get real with you. We need to stop shutting ourselves off from parts of ourselves and face what comes up. Question it, examine it, feel it. I for one would love to be brave enough to let my freak flag fly and go singing and dancing through the streets or supermarket aisles or go full wizarding world and wear Hogwarts robes whenever I leave the house and go around calling people muggles. Maybe one day I’ll tell that stupid voice in my head that says “oh you can’t do that because people will think you’re weird,” to shut the hell up and let me live my life in vivacious fantastical glory.
Let’s raise a glass to opening our heart and soul to living fantastical authentic lives. It’ll take a lot of work and we probably won’t get there completely but what a journey this life will be if we try.
That’s all for today guys and dolls. Thank you so much for joining me for another episode. As always, I hope this brings some joy into your day so your light can shine brighter.
Next week we’ll take our fifth exploration into Lee Strasberg’s Method, with the animal exercise. We’re about to enter…Jumanji. For more nerdy theatre links feel free to check out the link on the MFA website, which is in the show notes below.
Also, if you are on Instagram so am I. You can find me @mfaparentingedition and give me a follow.
If you enjoyed this episode and want to show your support please spread a beautiful act of kindness by rating it if your listening on Apple podcasts and leaving a kind review if you feel so inclined, and telling at least one person about the show and that they can find it wherever they listen to their podcasts. And always, thank you to those who have rated the show and left a beautiful review – I appreciate you.
Again, thank you and I’ll see you on the other side
Mom: Angelica, can you say good-bye?
Angelica: Good-bye, good-bye.
Mom: Thank you.
Angelica: Thank you.
Episode title: The Bath
Episode summary: What are inhibitions? What are the blocks we have that make it difficult to connect and engage with the world authentically? How can our kids help us open up? What can the overall-sensation exercise do to benefit our lives?
Previously on MFA
- Recap of episode 7 (listen here)
What is an Overall-Sensation
- 5 benefits of the exercise
- Definition of inhibitions
To Be Or Not To Be
- You chose to be a parent – now what
- Authoritative parenting and other styles
- Parenting and acting are all about relationships
Angelica Interlude
- Oh my Gawd!
The Bath
- The overall-sensation exercise
A Short Story Before We Go:
The Raise a Glass Series:
- The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
- Today’s lyrics – “Say no to this, I don’t say no to this, there is nowhere I can go, so, nobody needs to know.”~ Alexander Hamilton
Spread a Beautiful Act of Kindness:
- Rate the podcast (and leave a kind review if you feel so inclined)
- Tell one person you know you enjoyed this podcast and they should check it out
Sources that inspired this episode or random tidbits of knowledge:
- Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman podcast
- Brene Brown
- https://www.janetlansbury.com/2020/04/raising-emotional-intelligence-and-resilience-for-a-meaningful-life-with-susan-david/
- https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/inhibition#learn-more
- https://www.britannica.com/science/inhibition-psychology
- http://bettertherapy.com/blog/emotional-inhibition/
- Parenting Styles
- Acting Techniques
-------------
Full Transcript
Mom: Angelica, can you say hello?
Angelica: Hello! Hello?
Mom: How are you today?
Angelica: I doing well…how are you?
Mom: Well I’m doing well also. (she laughs)
Welcome to MFA: The Parenting Edition, I’m Taisha Cameron. These lessons from the theatre for raising ourselves and our kids came about when I realized my MFA in acting trained me for life as a mommy better than life as a full-time actor. Today’s episode is part four in our 7-part series on the Method and we’ll explore the overall-sensation exercise. We’ll explore some challenging questions, I’ll share some stories, and then we’ll end our episode with the Raise a Glass Series. So, without further ado, this is MFA.
Previously on MFA: The Parenting Edition
We contemplated our own impermanence. We questioned what brings us joy and how to relish the experience. We discussed the importance of discovering your life intention. We reflected on the purpose of sense memory work which is to highlight the transient nature of our thoughts, emotions and sensations.
Now you’re all caught up…of course if all of that meant nothing to you, you should probably go back and listen to episode seven.
Quote: “I not going to take a bath now cause I too busy doing work. No thank you.” My daughter, Angelica
Episode Eight – The Bath
Question – What are inhibitions? What are the blocks we have that make it difficult to connect and engage with the world authentically? How can our kids help us open up? What can the overall-sensation exercise do to benefit our lives?
[singing] Rubber duckie you’re the one, you make bath time lots of fun, rubber duckie I’m awfully fond of you, boo-boo-boo-bido [singing]
Well, here we are. We are met today to discuss our bathing hygiene. Not exactly. We are gathered here today to talk about the shit we carry and lock away and close ourselves off from and how that gets in the way of our development which in turn gets in the way of our children’s development. And what will help us access our blocked areas – why taking a bath of course! Obviously!...Ok, so maybe not taking a bath but exploring the overall-sensation exercise.
What is an Overall-Sensation
Overall-sensation exercises move sense memory from a local experience to a full body experience. Strasberg states in A Dream of Passion, that the exercises “continues to develop the senses as well as helps unblock areas of inhibition or that were locked.” While this exercise involves recreating sensations throughout our entire body, to begin we must activate each body part individually. Developing our senses, again puts us right into the present moment. It gets us out of our head and into our body.
These exercises include the bath, shower, sauna, cold wind, and rain. It might seem ridiculous to think that ‘acting exercises’ can be of benefit to anyone that’s not an actor. There’s so much richness in this work, and really to all acting techniques out there. I don’t want anyone to think because I’m focusing on the Method that I’m shitting on other styles…maybe Meisner but, just kidding, I kid I kid. I haven’t done enough work on Meisner to shit on it, I’m sure if I were to study it I would appreciate it and all it’s repetitive glory.
For the overall-sensation work, though, when we investigate it’s ability to enrich our lives we can so see so many positive attributes. The work:
- Strengthens our ability to concentrate since the goal has been expanded from local to full body sensation,
- Deepens our ability to relax and let go of tension for a richer experience,
- Recreates an experience that might be very soothing and therefore a tool to keep in our back pocket for life’s stressful situations,
- A reminder we are not our thoughts, emotions, or sensations; we can control all those things – it is a choice whether we do or not
- Allows us to examine what inhibits and blocks us from fully expressing ourselves
- What are inhibitions?
- an inner impediment to free activity, expression, or functioning:
- It goes on to add a definition from the English Language Learners dictionary (that’s a mouthful): a nervous feeling that prevents you from expressing your thoughts, emotions, or desires
- Also, part of the medical definition it lists states:
- a desirable restraint or check upon the free or spontaneous instincts or impulses of an individual guided or directed by the social and cultural forces of the environment
- a neurotic restraint upon a normal or beneficial impulse or activity caused by psychological inner conflicts or by sociocultural forces of the environment
- Strasberg writes again, “It is important to differentiate between those actors who are inhibited from feeling emotion and those who experience very deeply and intensely, but have been brought up in an environment that did not encourage and develop their capacity to express this intensity.”
Sensory work, in general, allows us greater opportunities to explore and express our emotional life. This helps us evolve as adults which in turn allows us to be more conscious, empathetic and respectful parents providing our children with the opportunity to express their emotional life fully. Parenting from this place encourages us to be more authoritative parent.
To Be or Not to Be
So you’ve chosen to be a parent. Congratulations! Now what the hell are you supposed to do with this tiny human. Obviously, feed it, nurture it, make sure it gets sleep…make sure you get sleep – just keep it alive. Weeeelll, it’s more than that. You must find a way to raise it without causing it more damage than necessary. Now are we all gonna screw up our kids? Absolutely! Did our parents screw us up a bit (maybe some more than others)? 100%! Will our kids do the same to their children? Without a doubt.
Now, knowing that we can choose to say, “Fuck it! I don’t have to change anything about how I feel about raising my kids cause no matter what I do I’m gonna screw them up anyway and doing all that conscious respectful parenting bullshit is just a lot more work than it’s worth,” OR we can say, “I chose to bring these children into the world and I want to give them the best shot I can to become good humans so I am choosing to put in this work to benefit their lives and the lives of those they will interact with.”
Which one did you choose? I went with option two. So the next question is, how do we do that? Well, there are different styles of parenting and the one that seems to get all the psychologists and child educators wet in their pants is the authoritative parenting style. It’s basically a balance between authoritarian parenting (it’s my way or the highway because I said so) and permissive parenting (I don’t really have a way, you pick the way, I’m just super sensitive to you being happy no matter what, just don’t make me put my foot down because I don’t know how). There are four main parenting styles, though I’ve found sites that have as many as 11 listed. I’ll put the links in the show notes if you want to read up on any of them. The truth of the matter is we are going to be a little bit of several parenting styles at any given moment because, as Dr. Aliza Pressman said in her podcast Raising Good Humans, “parenting styles are not static, they’re dynamic.” That sense of dynamics is true in the theatre world too, when you look at acting styles. There are several acting styles and techniques (which are also linked in the show notes) and an artist learns from as many as possible so they have a toolbox full of tools to help them get into a role. The method that works for you is whatever the hell the method is that works for you on any given role. Throughout my studies I’ve been exposed to Adler techniques and Hagen, Linklater and Stanislavsky, Grotowski and Viewpoints; there is so much out there to help become a better actor and the same is true for parenting. All you need is the intention to get better at it and that starts, like acting, with a lot of work on ourselves.
*Angelica Interlude
Mom: (in Elmo voice) Angelica’s mommy needs to finish changing Angelica and then, Angelica and Elmo can tickle each other again. Yay!
(Angelica giggles)
Mom: Wait for it wait for it wait. (laughing like Elmo)
Angelica: Wait a minute
Mom: (continues in Elmo voice) Wait a minute! What a kidder! (laughing)
Angelica: (giggling) What a kidder! Hahaha. Elmo do not want to take a bath. (laughing)
Mom: (laughing in mom voice now) Elmo does not want to take a bath? Elmo’s just like the pigeon. Whoa, oh my god this is like a war zone in here. Good god child.
(Angelica giggles)
Mom: The pit of despair over here, ohmigoodness.
Angelica: Ohmigoodness. Oh my dada oh my thada oh my goodness [lots of gibberish] oh my gawd.
(Mom laughs)
Angelica: Oh my goch!
(Mom and Angelica laughing)
Mom: Oh my Gawd!
Angelica: Oh my goch.
Mom: Oh my Gawd!
Angelica: Oh my goch. Say oh my goch.
Mom: Oh my goch!
Angelica: Oh my goch!
Mom: Oh my scotch!
Angelica: Oh my gawd!
Mom: Oh my gawd!
Angelica: Oh my god, oh my gawd!
Mom: Oh my god!
The Bath
How many people hate a warm bath? I’m sure there are some out there, but I wouldn’t think there’d be too many in that tribe. Whether you take them regularly or they’re a sweet treat you haven’t indulged in for many moons, a relaxing bath can be a luxurious way to decompress. Bubbles or Epson salt, candles and a good book, there are so many ways to enjoy a soak in the tub. However you choose to spend your bath time, dial into all the tiny sensations your body is experiencing. Do a little body scan starting at your toes and working your way up to your head to observe how each part of your body is responding. That’s the way to be in the moment during this experience, reading a book or listening to a podcast (omg if I make your list of tub time listening I will feel so honored I will sing the Happy Happy Joy Joy song)…but yes, reading a book and listening to podcasts and music are great ways to relax but if you wanna truly be in the moment then connect to your body. Once you’ve had this experience then it’s a great time to try the overall-sensation exercise and recreate it because you’ll already be so relaxed. Now of course if baths do not relax you, well, I don’t know why you would’ve been doing this exercise in the first place but that’s beside the point, but if you are more tense and stressed then before you got in the tub, I apologize and may you never do that ever again in your life. On the chance that it was a calming experience then attempt to recreate the sensations with the bath exercise. Start with one area of your body first and then expand your field of focus to other areas continuing to cover your entire body. It’s possible for strong emotional responses or intense sensations to wash over you. If that happens hooray! Celebrate our bath come on, we’re gonna scrub-udub our feelings out! Breathe through it, you got this! Let out sound, tears, whatever you’re experiencing. Let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore! That is opening yourself up, that is releasing inhibitions, that is unlocking areas that we’ve shut ourselves off to. Don’t try to stifle it away, let yourself feel whatever comes up and trust that as long as you don’t start judging it and dwelling on fear these feelings will dissipate when they have run their course. This is what it means to be human, to experience intense emotions, thoughts and sensations. You’ve done harder things in your life than feel your feelings; be one with yourself. It’s the only way we can teach our kids to do the same.
So lovelies, I’ll ask you again,
What are the blocks we have that make it difficult to connect and engage with the world authentically?
What can the overall-sensation exercise do to benefit our lives?
Our blocks and inhibitions started being created the moment we were born and were influenced by our parent or caregivers parenting style. Then as we grew we developed more of them due to society’s ideas of what is acceptable or not and what is valued in a human life and what we must squash away. What a gift it is then to be raised in a home that accepts you unconditionally while still holding the line on what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior, that allows you to express your emotional life fully without fear and still ingrains respect for others and their opinions and emotions. We can only achieve this if we’re willing to face our own inhibitions and thinking patterns. If we hold on to a specific way of thinking that does not serve the development of our family or creative work or world, that means we’re letting our ego run the show and that doesn’t serve anyone.
Parenting styles and acting styles are the same in that there are countless ways to reach your objective, you just need to find the way that works for you and your team to tell the story you long to tell. Acting and parenting are both about relationships. Our own inhibitions and blocks keep us from being the best artists and/or parents we can be. Our children, and humanity as a whole, deserve more than our unconscious selves trying to make conscious decisions.
A Short Story Before We Go
He was a legend. A Tony Award winning, Emmy winning legend. I was terrified of him.
His energy exuded badass seasoned New York actor not to be fucked with. When he walked into the building everyone who hadn’t had him as a teacher yet would stop, get quiet and watch him. I imagined third year in his class would be like walking into Debbie Allen’s dance studio in Fame. All the third years always spoke about him and how great he was and I had the feeling he wasn’t at all like I had imagined but he was a legend, a legend I was excitedly and anxiously waiting to learn from him. He wasn’t a tall man, but his presence made him enormous. He was quiet so mystery and intrigue followed him. He walked slightly hunched, baseball cap and avatar shades cloaking him. Mustard tan jacket, blue jeans and sneakers were his staple. His name, Ron Leibman.
During a scene study class he shared a story that made all of sense memory and our Method training make sense. His story was not unique, I’d heard countless teachers in the past share their own versions as a teaching tool for our work. When he spoke he never raised his voice, he wasn’t overly theatrical and showy. He spoke softly, slouched in his chair with his legs crossed. He spoke in a manner that made you want to lean in so you didn’t miss a word. He told us of a play he had worked on in which he could not connect with his co-star and they were supposed to be a loving married couple. For whatever the reason (and he might’ve told us but I unfortunately don’t recall), there had been a block between the two of them inhibiting a close relationship and it was their job to get passed that because of the demands of the story. He needed something that would aid him in creating warm feelings towards the actress and he thought of the bath exercise. He worked with it and found his energy shift and that shift made all the difference in opening the door to their relationship.
All the exercises in the Method, or any technique you are studying, are there to support you when you’re stuck. You won’t need to use them all for every role. The connection you need is with your scene partner. You and the rest of your cast mates, production and design team are all working together towards a common goal but that doesn’t mean everyone is going to agree consistently, get along all the time or even like each other from the get go. You don’t have to. What you need to do is respect the work and the collaborative process. For those weeks or months you are a family and must respect each other as one. As a mom there are days I wake up and I don’t wanna do the mommy routine. I would rather have my time to myself and not be required to take care of another person. But life is about relationships. Whether we’re interacting with our family, coworkers or strangers we are in control of how we respond and engage with them. It is our responsibility to find common ground, to find the ways to express empathy and compassion, to see past the shell and mask we all wear to get to know their soul. Sometimes what’s keeping us from being able to bridge this gap is not always resistance from the other person. Maybe all we need to bring more peace and compassion into our lives is one bath exercise away.
There were so many lessons I learned from Ron my last year of school but his patience and quiet openness to allow our exploration and his gentle questioning and encouragement taught me I wanted to emulate that leadership and human compassion. I was blessed to have had the opportunity to be a student of the late great Ron Leibman. When a great teacher comes into your life thank them because they truly are a gift.
Raise A Glass Series
The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
“Say no to this, I don’t say no to this, there is nowhere I can go, so, nobody needs to know.”
But we know. We know the things in our heart that we say no to either because it’s the right thing to do OR the things we reject, block or inhibit ourselves from experiencing out of fear, fear of judgement, fear of failure, the list of fears can go on. And shame, oh that’s a big one – google Brene Brown, she’ll get real with you. We need to stop shutting ourselves off from parts of ourselves and face what comes up. Question it, examine it, feel it. I for one would love to be brave enough to let my freak flag fly and go singing and dancing through the streets or supermarket aisles or go full wizarding world and wear Hogwarts robes whenever I leave the house and go around calling people muggles. Maybe one day I’ll tell that stupid voice in my head that says “oh you can’t do that because people will think you’re weird,” to shut the hell up and let me live my life in vivacious fantastical glory.
Let’s raise a glass to opening our heart and soul to living fantastical authentic lives. It’ll take a lot of work and we probably won’t get there completely but what a journey this life will be if we try.
That’s all for today guys and dolls. Thank you so much for joining me for another episode. As always, I hope this brings some joy into your day so your light can shine brighter.
Next week we’ll take our fifth exploration into Lee Strasberg’s Method, with the animal exercise. We’re about to enter…Jumanji. For more nerdy theatre links feel free to check out the link on the MFA website, which is in the show notes below.
Also, if you are on Instagram so am I. You can find me @mfaparentingedition and give me a follow.
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Again, thank you and I’ll see you on the other side
Mom: Angelica, can you say good-bye?
Angelica: Good-bye, good-bye.
Mom: Thank you.
Angelica: Thank you.