MFA: THE PARENTING EDITION EPISODE 7 SHOW NOTES
     
Episode title: You Are My Sunshine
 
Episode summary: How does sunshine make you feel? Does that image cause distress or happiness? What is happiness anyway? In our limited time on earth do we have a goal, objective or intention that gives us focus and purpose? If life is impermanent, what are we doing with our time here? How do we find joy and gratitude in, well, everything?
Living life intentionally and purposefully is a choice. Our happiness springs from our connection to our environment, the universe, nature, those we adore, finding joy in our emotional and spiritual evolvement, offering forgiveness even when we feel we can’t, being thankful for all our abilities and gifts, being grateful we are alive with the option to make different choices. Life is impermanent, so let’s appreciate each sunny day.
 
 
Previously on MFA Olaf the Philosopher
  • Impermanence of life
  • What are we doing with our time
  • What are our intentions and goals for our life
Why the hell are we still talking about sense memory work
 
The Sunshine Exercise
 
Angelica Interlude
  • Hey girl hey!
This Weeks Exercise
  • 3 variations on sense memory work to do with your kids
    • Option 1 – heat
    • Option 2 – cold
    • Option 3 – sharp taste
A Short Story Before We Go:
  • The day the sun made me cry
The Raise a Glass Series: Episode transcript: See full transcript below.
 
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Sources that inspired this episode or random tidbits of knowledge:  
 
 
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Full Transcript
 
Mom: Angelica, can you say hello?
Angelica: Hello! Hello?
Mom: How are you today?
Angelica: I doing well…how are you?
Mom: Well I’m doing well also. (she laughs)
 
             
Welcome to MFA: The Parenting Edition, I’m Taisha Cameron. These lessons from the theatre for raising ourselves and our kids came about when I realized my MFA in acting trained me for life as a mommy better than life as a full-time actor. Today’s episode is part three in our 7-part series on the Method and we’re still focused on sense memory work. We’ll explore some challenging questions, I’ll share some stories, and then we’ll end our episode with the Raise a Glass Series. So, without further ado, this is MFA.
 
Previously on MFA: The Parenting Edition
We learned that the mirror is an actor’s tool & friendly guide for transformation into a character. We learned that looking at ourselves in the mirror can be difficult but it doesn’t have to be. We explored the idea that we’re just a mass of cells that have grown into a form with shapes protruding out of it that we’ve given names to like arms, nose and so on. We explored the importance of what we model to our kids because they will mirror our energy and what they hear and see. We rejoiced in the belief we are miracles and should raise a glass to being inimitable and original.
Now you’re all caught up…of course if all of that meant nothing to you, you should probably go back and listen to episode six.
 
Quote: “The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with nature.” ~ Joseph Campbell
 
Episode Seven – You Are My Sunshine
 
Question – How does sunshine make you feel? Does that image cause distress or happiness? What is happiness anyway? In our limited time on earth do we have a goal, objective or intention that gives us focus and purpose? If life is impermanent, what are we doing with our time here? How do we find joy and gratitude in, well, everything?
             
The beach, summer vacation, a lazy spring afternoon, reading a book by the pool, going for an invigorating walk, picking flowers, charcuterie & a bottle of wine on a blanket. There are so many images of play, peace, joy and happiness that being in the sun makes us feel. Sunshine encourages us to get outdoors. It beacons us to join natures dance. These feelings are not shared by everyone (obviously not vampires) but I’d think even the grumpiest person would still want to smile if they got outside to experience a little bit of sunshine.
             
I recently listened to a meditation on the Calm app (which I’m a huge fan of) centered around connecting to nature in a slow deliberate way in order to find grounding and peace in our lives. This meditation is where I heard the quote from Joseph Campbell I used for this episode. He muses on our goal in life, which made me wonder if we have goals for life and what they are.

Angelica loves Anna & Elsa. We’ve seen Frozen, Frozen II and Olaf’s Frozen Adventure more times than is probably healthy. If you have somehow, especially as a parent, skated by seeing Frozen II, you missed our loveable talking snowman with his new permafrost contemplating the meaning of life. He becomes quite the philosopher in this story questioning our own impermanence. We have NO FUCKING IDEA how much time we have left on this earth. Let’s just say we’re gonna die tomorrow, how do we want to live our lives today? Now let’s not get drastic emptying our bank account to throw a lavish party and do all the things we’ve dreamt of but never have because it we don’t die tomorrow, well, that’s really gonna screw up the rest of our life. In episode one we talked about choices – our choice to become parents, artists or whatever career path we’ve ventured on. One of the question I posed at the top of this episode was what are we doing with our time? Part of figuring out what we’re doing with our time on this planet is to figure out what’s our objective or our intention, our goal like Mr. Campbell explored. When an actor takes on a role they’re constantly examining their objective (what their character wants and/or needs in the play) and upping the level of their choices to attain that objective. Once the stakes have reached life or death, you have some very exciting theatre. Characters fighting to live, to live authentically, live for the people they love, die for the people they love; those are the truths that resonate with humanity. And it’s a choice to live that purposefully.
​
One thing I’m choosing to work on, an intention for my life, is strengthening my spiritual evolution. For me that is not a quest for religious connection. I realize motherhood is my spiritual journey. Never in my life have I felt more vulnerable, exposed, fearful, stressed, and insane – and I went to drama school. With my time I choose to find tools to support my spiritual journey so I can be a better mother for Angelica and better human in this world. With my time I carve out space for the things I enjoy: reading, writing, artsy fartsy creative explorations like painting and drawing, connecting with my husband, taking care of my health with exercise and good nutrition, taking time to connect with my family. That might not seem like much to some people but right now in my life it is my purpose and joy. In a masterclass, on the Calm app, again, (told you love that app) I heard psychologist Shawn Achor talk about happiness. The definition he gave to it is, “Happiness is the joy you feel moving towards your potential.” How I spend my time reflects the things I feel are important in my life and in supporting the life I aim to create, that is my happiness. I keep my mommy objective (I mentioned in episode one) close to my heart. Each day I set an intention that guides me to reach that objective. Some days I fail gloriously in keeping my intention, other days it’s as easy and natural as breathing.
 
Why the hell are we still talking about sense memory work
 
Building on the cup and mirror exercises, Strasberg took the focus off an object to elevate our level of concentration. Since we don’t have a tactile reference to connect to for this exercise, relaxation is hugely important. He emphasized that in all the exercises because relaxation creates an openness to receive.
This exercise can be a super helpful tool to keep in our back pocket on days that suck and we need a personal restart, or when we have something important like an audition or interview…or when we need to deal with our kids or spouse.  It teaches us we can be in control of shifting our mind and body’s energy to a place of peace and calm. Sense memory exercises remind us of the transient nature of thoughts, emotions and sensations.
 
The Sunshine Exercise
Get your ass outside and play in the sun! Those aren’t Strasberg’s exact words but mine. But seriously, you do have to go outside and find a nice little spot and enjoy the warmth of the sun. We’re not aiming for oppressive blistering heat so pick the right time of day for this based on where you live. As you get comfortable with the heat on your body pay attention to where the sun is hitting the most strongly and what those sensations on your skin feel like. Observe all sensations running through your body. Then think about how many times I’ve said the word sensation thus far. When you feel like you’ve enjoyed the warmth enough you can head back inside to practice recreating those…wait for it…sensations. Sit in a chair (he makes a point in the book to mention not imitating the position you were in when experiencing the sun), do any breathing to help release tension and get super relaxed. Once you’re relaxed you can work first on recreating the sensation of the sun on the area of your body you felt the strongest. After you’ve worked with that move the heat to another area of your body. Play around with it. Try recreating the sun’s warmth on a part of your body that didn’t get much direct sun or no sun at all (I’ll let you decide what areas those are). If you’re really relaxed when starting this you might find the sensations kick in with a quick intensity. That’s awesome if it does. And as always, if nothing happens, that’s fine too.
 
 
*Angelica Interlude
Mom: Hey girl
Angelica: Hey girl
Mom: Hey girl hey
Angelica: Hey girl hey. Hey girl hey. Hey girl hey
Mom: Hey
Angelica: Hey. Hey girl
Mom: Okeskiddily dokey
Angelica: Dokitty dokitty
Mom: Okeskiddily dokey
Angelica: Okiddy dokiddy
Mom: Okaley dokaley
Angelica: Dokitty dokey, Dokitty dokey, Dokitty dokey, Dokitty dokey, Dokitty dokey
 
 
 
This Weeks Exercise:
There are three variations in this week’s exercise. All can be done with your family and it can be part of your fun imaginative family playtime.
Option 1. Practice the sunshine exercise.
Get outdoors! Find a sunny spot to hangout in for a little bit and take in the sunshine. You don’t have to be in the sun long and you can do this by a pool or anywhere you find a sunny spot. All you have to do is enjoy the feel of the sun. Notice where it touches your skin, be very present and aware of how your body feels.
After a little bit head back inside. Take a seat, do some breathing to release any tension and then start to create what you felt on your body. Start recreating in the area the sun was the strongest, so if when you were outside the sun was predominantly on your forehead then try to recreate the heat on your forehead first. After you've done that move the heat and warmth to another place on your body. What does it feel like on your shoulder, back? Maybe you were wearing sneakers outside and it never touched your feet, now try exploring it on your feet. Move it around to your knees, your fingers. If you’re doing this with your kids have them take turns picking the next place to move the sun’s heat. They’re probably gonna pick fun weird locations like your belly button, or your right pinky toe, or your butt. And if they don’t know the parts of their body yet, this might be a cool way to teach them. Make it fun, keep it light, and enjoy the family bonding. Whether everyone can recreate the sensation or not doesn’t matter; what matters is the time spent playing together. Nothing like weird ridiculous games to bring family’s together.
Option 2. Practice cold with ice cubes
With the sunshine exercise you’re practicing recreating warmth and heat, you can also practice cold simply by getting an ice cube. Have your kids hold it for a little bit; you hold it for a little bit. Rub the ice cube on your forearm, cheek, pick different areas of your body. What does it feel like on your nose or ear?  How long can you hold the ice cube in your hand before it melts or before you can't tolerate it anymore? Then, just like the sunshine exercise, once you're done with the ice cube take a moment and relax before trying to recreate those sensations. Don’t forget to have your kids pick different areas of your body to move the cold.

​Option 3. Practice sharp taste
The last sensory exercise you could play around with is sharp taste. Things to use:  lemons, grapefruit, something vinegary, anything you have that will make your face resemble a wrinkled raisin. This is a great exercise, especially if you've got little toddlers or kids who have not had the experience of sucking on something like a lemon. Oh, and not all people will respond the same way to each food. When I first introduced Angelica to a lemon, she put it in her mouth and ate it like if it was an orange slice. There was no reaction. Her face did not scrunch up or anything, and like all parents nowadays with their phones I was like, “Oh my God, I've gotta get this!” I was so disappointed. After you’ve practiced with the real food it’s time to recreate the sensations in your mouth and body. If you had a very strong reaction to something you might find it easier to recreate.   
Have fun with these exercises! Be creative, make up your own, adjust these to fit your family needs. It’s not about the actual exercise, it’s about choosing where you spend your time.
 

So lovelies, I’ll ask you again
              What brings you happiness?
              How are you finding joy and gratitude in all life’s little moments?

Living life intentionally and purposefully is a choice. Our happiness springs from our connection to our environment, the universe, nature, those we adore, finding joy in our emotional and spiritual evolvement, offering forgiveness even when we feel we can’t, being thankful for all our abilities and gifts, being grateful we are alive with the option to make different choices. Life is impermanent, so let’s appreciate each sunny day.
 
 
A Short Story Before We Go

When the sun made me cry
Oh, why am I fucking crying? Because of the sun. The sun! As I sit here writing this episode about enjoying life, gratitude, and the transient nature of life and the impermanence of our emotions, physical sensations and our thoughts, I'm going through my own sense memory experience.

When I was in my third year of grad school, I stormed towards the front door of our building in a flurry of frustration, annoyance and overwhelm. This was a common way for students to both enter and leave the building. Other common entrances and exits included sound effects such as grunts, groans, and gags, traveling monologues and scenes, songs sung sotto voce or fortissimo, dancing, choreographed stage combat but mostly improvised stage combat, laughing or crying hysterically or moving like a sloth. Of course students and teachers would walk through the doors cheerfully smiling and greeting everyone with warm affection. But we were all proficient in mask work so how could you really trust those smiles?

I had just finished a class and two of my girlfriends were with me trying to calm me down. It was a fall afternoon early evening and the sun was making its journey to set over the Westside Highway. My emotionally distraught energy stormed out the glass front door and came face to face with one of the guys from my class. He was standing outside on the top of the three steps down to the walkway and as I stomped down the steps he called out, “Bye Taisha,” and I flung myself around. There shining brilliantly in the sky was a golden burning orb of sunshine. It penetrated the skin on my face, down to my core and I burst into tears. My girlfriends held the door open watching me with smirks on their faces while I cried out, “of course, of course the sun would make me cry.” As they laughed and wished me well I dramatically flung my long curly hair over my shoulder and did my New York walk down Bank Street.

As I sit here thinking about that moment tears are streaming. My face is contorting, something inside me is shifting and a sliver of emotion or energy wiggles up behind my nose and eyes to make the water fall. This event happened over ten years ago, how can I still have the same reaction when I bring it up? That’s what happens when you are able to recreate a sense memory. I not only recreated the sun but I went back a little and was also recreating the place I was in, the people with me and building the moment before. Those are all tools actors will use to help them enter the world of their character. With an open body and attention to detail we can recall any moment we want or need. The wonderful thing about our emotions, thoughts and physical sensations is they wash away. I can feel my body calming, my tears have stopped flowing, my breathing feels even, the memory is fading away. What a gift that our being can experience the world with such intensity and then it fades away giving us the ability to recall and recreate the moments we choose.
 

Raise A Glass Series

The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
               “In the eye of a hurricane there is quiet, for just a moment, a yellow sky.”

We cannot control much of anything in this world. It sucks I know, believe me I’ve tried to control everything I possible could and even the things I knew very well I couldn’t, like other people’s choices. Our thoughts and emotions are the only things we are fully capable of controlling if we choose. Nature finds a balance. A hurricane’s goal is not to cause destruction, that’s our experience of it. Mother Earth is focused on her intention of balance: temperature balance, rainfall balance in areas that need it, bacteria balance, and more. We are creatures of nature, if we approach our lives with the same intention of finding balance and connecting to nature’s rhythm, we will find joy which brings us happiness. And that my friends is the yellow sky.
Let’s raise a glass to living intentionally and finding joy in all life’s moments from the chaos to the sunny days.
 

That’s all for today guys and dolls. Thank you so much for joining me for another episode. As always, I hope this brings some joy into your day so your light can shine brighter.

Next week we’ll take our fourth exploration into Lee Strasberg’s Method, with the overall-sensation exercise. Bring your rubber ducky cause it’s gonna be bath time. For more nerdy theatre links feel free to check out the link on the MFA website, which is in the show notes below.

Also, if you are on Instagram so am I. You can find me @mfaparentingedition and give me a follow.
 

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Again, thank you and I’ll see you on the other side

Mom: Angelica, can you say good-bye?
Angelica: Good-bye, good-bye.
Mom: Thank you.
Angelica: Thank you.