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MFA: THE PARENTING EDITION EPISODE 5 SHOW NOTES
Episode title: Inside the Actor's Studio
Episode summary: Do we tune into the present moment regularly or operate on autopilot? How much awareness do we give to the everyday tasks we have in our life; to the mundane habitual things like brushing our teeth, getting dressed, grabbing our phones? How do we engage with our children when they are focused and concentrating on the little things in life (or the big things)? Do we get impatient with them, interrupt them to do something we think is more important or with a “so what are you doing?” Do we engage with the world around us fully, with our mind, body and soul?
Our goal today is to heighten our awareness to the little things we do every day to strengthen our concentration. Becoming more in tune with the nuances involved in what we habitually do, gives us more patience and understanding for our children as they learn new skills and brings us right into the present moment.
The History of the Method
What is the morning drink?
Teaching My Toddler How to Use a Cup
This Weeks Exercise
A Short Story Before We Go:
The Raise a Glass Series
Episode transcript: See full transcript below.
Spread a Beautiful Act of Kindness:
Sources that inspired this episode:
These links are to podcasts or books that are important to me as a mom and have helped me on my journey of growth to create this podcast:
-------------
Full Transcript
Mom: Angelica, can you say hello?
Angelica: Hello! Hello?
Mom: How are you today?
Angelica: I doing well…how are you?
Mom: Well, I’m doing well also. (she laughs)
Welcome to MFA: The Parenting Edition, I’m Taisha Cameron. These lessons from the theatre for raising ourselves and our kids came about when I realized my MFA in acting trained me for life as a mommy better than life as a full-time actor. Today’s episode is the first in our 7-part series on the Method and it’s all about being present for the little things in life. We’ll explore some challenging questions, I’ll share some stories, and then we’ll end our episode with the Raise a Glass Series. So, without further ado, this is MFA.
Quote: “to concentrate, one must have an object of concentration; one cannot concentrate abstractly.” ~ Lee Strasberg in A Dream of Passion
Episode Five – The Cup
Question – Do we tune into the present moment regularly or operate on autopilot? How much awareness do we give to the everyday tasks we have in our life; to the mundane habitual things like brushing our teeth, getting dressed, grabbing our phones? How do we engage with our children when they are focused and concentrating on the little things in life (or the big things)? Do we get impatient with them, interrupt them to do something we think is more important or with a “so what are you doing?” Do we engage with the world around us fully, with our mind, body and soul?
Our goal today is to heighten our awareness to the little things we do every day to strengthen our concentration. Becoming more in tune with the nuances involved in what we habitually do, gives us more patience and understanding for our children as they learn new skills and brings us right into the present moment.
The History of the Method
Here’s the quickest acting history lesson you will ever have:
The Method, as it’s become named, is an approach to acting that Lee Strasberg expanded on from the teachings of Constantin Stanislavsky. Stanislavsky was a Russian actor who is essentially the father of the modern-day acting techniques we appreciate today and transformed theatre. The focus on concentration, sense memory, emotional memory and more all stemmed from Stanislavsky’s teachings. We will be getting into all those terms and more but, for now, we can thank Stanislavsky and his work at the Moscow Art Theatre. In the late 1920’s, two Russian actors from the Moscow Art Theatre, Richard Boleslavsky and Maria Ouspenskaya, stayed in the states (after performing here with their company) to form the Laboratory Theatre with the goal of training American actors in the acting techniques they were using back home. This is where Lee Strasberg found himself going and the rest you can say, is history. The following is a quote from Strasberg’s book, A Dream of Passion:
“The Method, therefore, is the procedure by which the actor can open control of his instrument, that is, the procedure by which the actor can use his affective memory to create a reality on stage.”
As the opening quote suggest, we can’t concentrate unless we have something specific to concentrate on. When we are concentrating, we are living through the present moment with whatever has our focus. To get to that point is where relaxation comes in.
For actors, relaxation is not about getting to a serene place of mind and body gooeyness. Look, life happens, how do we teach ourselves to find a level of relaxation without going to the spa, or the beach, or having a cup of tea or hitting the yoga mat – how do we find small ways of relaxing within ourselves? Relaxation is the release of tension. You do this by sitting in a chair and scanning your body to notice where you might be holding tension. Then breathe into those areas. [Breathe] That felt really good let’s do that again [Breathe]. You might find you need to move that area around, so for example, if the tension is in your neck (and that’s a big one for most people) you might need to roll your head around to help release any pressure. Breathe into it [breathe], and if all that is not working you might be ready to add some sound. “Ahaaaa!” that’s is. The “Hah” and “Ahhhaaaa” are sounds you will hear emanating from any psych ward, I mean Meth lab – nope, shit, I mean – from any Method based acting studio, there we go. Getting rid of as much tension as you can (cause you ain’t nevuh gonna get rid of all of it) helps prepare the actor for the work they’re about to do. And what’s the work we’re about to do today? It’s object work to help build our sense memory. What the hell is that? Well, I will tell you.
Humans possess five senses. Well, not all humans do, and some may lose one or more along life’s journey, but the body comes prepared to house five senses – touch, sight, smell, taste, hearing. Our body experiences the world through these senses which cause sensations within us. What sense memory does is to call upon our mind, body and soul to experience those sensations again. For example, the sense of smell can be super strong for people, my first grade teacher, Mrs. Randall, had a very distinct fragrance to her and over the last few decades since I was in her class if I catch a whiff of that smell, which I couldn’t even describe to you, I will be immediately transported into some memory of being in her classroom. Everything we encounter leaves an imprint on us. The goal of the sense memory work, for actors, is to be able to recreate those sensations as needed to aid us in fully living through the life of a character. It’s to train our mind, body and soul to use what we have, our instrument, which is our mind body and soul, for the art of acting, the art of theatre, the art of storytelling. Our instrument is not one we can put back in a case until tomorrow, we take it everywhere and experience everything with it. Strengthening our ability to concentrate comes with heightening the awareness of our senses.
A few months ago I decided to make the practice of using a cup part of Angelica’s routine. We’d practiced before and she had successfully done it a number of times. But it was just easier for her and a lot less messy for me to continue to hand her a sippy cup. Now Angelica, like most toddlers (and I’ve said this before) is not a will bender. She caught on to what I was doing and was having none of it. I started with presenting the same tiny glass cup we’d used before, with some water in it at every meal. This was not a new object but the frequency which she was now meant to engage with it had risen and she recognized the game. So, as only a toddler can do, she unapologetically and with sincerity and authority flat out said, “No.” If you were doing an improv scene, she just negated the whole thing and left you standing on the stage looking like a fool with nowhere to go. Now as mama bears go, I’m a bit hardcore and intense, I’m learning to calm the fuck down, but because of my nature we had some…battle of the wills moments. Since, I am trying to be a more respectful and empathetic mama, I did eventually say, “ya know what, she’ll let me know when she’s ready,” and we went back to the sippy cup. One day, she was about to eat breakfast and she asked for her sippy cup. And I realized it was in the dishwasher, which I had forgotten to run the night before. So, I had two choices: 1. Take it out, wash it, fill it with water, and hand it to her or, 2. Tell her it was dirty and there was only one cup available to drink from so she could use it or not. I went with option two. I handed her the tiny glass cup of water and she drank it without any complaints. And she has been drinking water from that glass three meals a day and anytime she’s thirsty all day long. I tell this story to show that it takes time to master a new skill and you can’t force it. I had relaxed the level of expectations around using the cup, so she was relaxed enough to practice, concentrate and continue to use it. She spilled a lot, still spills sometimes, and will sometimes intentionally spill but that’s part of the process.
“it takes 3 or 4 years for a youngster to train his muscles sufficiently so that the glass will reach the lips without spilling.” Thank you, Mr. Strasberg, for this little reminder to have patience with our children, when they’re learning, really, anything.
*Angelica Interlude
Mom: Alright, while you are in fashion world mama’s just gonna lay down here and -
Angelica: Wake up mama!
Mom: take a break
Angelica: It’s your birthday time, wake up.
Mom: It’s whose birthday time?
Angelica: It’s your birthday.
Mom: It’s my birthday?
Angelica: And you have to wake up.
Mom: Is it my birthday all day long?
Angelica: Yes, Happy birthday and here is your gift.
Mom: You have a gift for me?
Angelica: Yes.
Mom: You are just the sweetest. Oh, I love it! It’s beautiful Angelica thank you so much.
Angelica: And I’m going to share it with my best friend Zoe.
Mom: Wait! You’re gonna share my gift with your best friend Zoe?
Angelia: Yes.
Mom: How is that fair?
This Weeks Exercise:
Strasberg said, “concentration starts with an actor’s ability to recreate objects which he encounters every day.” With that said, are you ready for your morning drink? Great! Let’s go!
Start by studying what you drink in the morning. For most people in the world that’s probably a cup of coffee (I am not like most people in the world I don’t drink the stuff I got energy for days so coffee need no place in my body) but whether your morning drink of choice is water, tea, coffee or juice let’s pay attention to how you drink it.
As you sit down to enjoy it (or stand, do you) engage all your senses. Pay attention to how you hold your glass, the actual position of your hand on the cup. Feel the temperature of the drink in your hand, how does that make you adjust your hands around the cup? Concentrate on its weight. This will naturally lead to you observing the mechanics of how you move your arm to raise the glass to your mouth. Now once the cup is close to your face maybe you look at the color, inhale a good waft of that aroma [inhale] doesn’t that water smell great, listen as you drink to the sounds you make or the sound of the liquid moving in the cup. And don’t forget to check in with your hand and arm position as you hold the cup after that initial sip or place it back down. Concentrate on these details and engaging as much of your senses as possible for at least the first few sips of your drink.
Now, here’s the test. After you’ve enjoyed the rest of your drink and stopped concentrating so much energy on it - try to recreate those sensations without the cup in hand. [gasp] Is it possible? It’s not about miming or going through the pretend action of drinking or just imagining “oh now my cup is full of coffee” it’s about seeing if your body can recreate the sensations you experienced. So take a deep breathe, relax into it, and then observe. Can you recreate the shape of the cup in your hand, feel the temperature of it? Does your body remember it’s weight and the position of your arm as you raise the drink to your mouth? How does it smell, look, feel on your lips?
You might find nothing happens. You can’t recreate a godddamn thing and that’s fine. If you feel like trying it again the next day or a few days later try it. You can try this on and off for the rest of your life. If you were able to recreate a sensation or two, that’s wonderful, I’d encourage you to keep practicing each day and building that connection to your senses and your sense memory. It’s not about doing anything “right” or being “successful” at this exercise. The goal is about choosing to be present and experience your life.
So lovelies, I’ll ask you again,
How much awareness do we give to the everyday tasks we have in our life?
Do we tune into the present moment regularly or operate on autopilot?
When we get in the groove of running on autopilot that’s our life just zipping away. We spend so much time trying to hurry through the simple mundane tasks to get to the next thing we want to pay attention to, we’re basically saying, “this area of my life is not worth living right now so tune out and move on.” We may find that the time we wish we had more of is there, but we’ve just been hopscotching over it.
A Short Story Before We Go
She looked so beautiful. The sunlight cut through the blinds highlighting her golden-brown curls. As she held her Anna dolls, from Frozen, she sang along to the Peppa Pig lullaby sailing from my phone. The warmth of my cup of tea kept me grounded in her essence. But before this moment I’m not sure where my mind was. I’m not fully aware what brought my mind back either; whether it was her singing or the cup in my hand but once I was dialed in, I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
My hands wrapped snuggly around the beige mug with gold trimming and the large letter T on the front. It had been a Christmas gift from one of my sisters a few years ago which I was reminded of as I held it against my chest to feel the heat stamp itself on my heart. Her singing, soft and full of color, tangled with the heat from the cup to do a pas de deux through my chest. The aroma of hibiscus filled my nose as I inhaled deeply. Everything about this moment I wanted to inhale deeply. I found myself doing the actor trick of noticing a moment and storing it away just in case we might need it later. Bookmarking our life’s emotions, sensations, experiences for the art of storytelling. Right now I wasn’t storing this for a role but I was storing it in my mommy treasure box of memories so when she’s older and doesn’t want to sit around singing songs with me I’ll have it for my own sake. To warm my own aching heart.
My middle finger looped through the handle and I clenched the cup tighter to my chest. Raising my arms to lift it made me take in the deep red color of the tea. Breathing in the smell again I was aware that my senses were taking in everything around me. I was so present noticing my seat on the shaggy chic pink rug, feeling the cup in my hands, looking at the vivid color while noticing from my periphery Angelica sitting in the sunlight singing in her sweet voice. There was no expectation to do anything. We could do a million activities later. The outside could wait. This moment was magic.
Raise A Glass Series
The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
“It would be enough, that would be enough.”
The feel of a warm hug, the sound of your child laughing, the taste of your favorite meal, the smell of a rainy day, the sight of the person you love. The world imprints tiny moments on our soul all the time. When we slow down, relax and concentrate on what our environment is sharing with us we can finally experience life. Our children may be able to find relaxation and concentration faster than us because they are still in awe of the world around them. We can learn from observing them study their environment how we can better investigate ours. So, as a final note on concentration let me encourage you to stay the hell out of your kids way when they’re focused. Of course, so long as their focus is not causing harm to themselves, others or causing damage that will cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to repair. That should be a given…but just in case you needed to hear that, there it is.
Let’s raise a glass to strengthening our ability to concentrate, taking in life’s small wonders and providing the environment for our children to do the same. Because to truly enjoy life, that would be enough.
That’s all for today guys and dolls. Thank you so much for joining me again for another episode.
Next week we’ll take our second exploration into the Method, with a little mirror mirror on the wall who’s the fiercest parent of all. Those of you who’ve been listening I’m sure caught that at the end of episode 4 I mentioned that this would be an 8-part series, but there have been some revisions. This episode and the next 5 will be centered around specific exercises and then the 7th and last one in this series will tie everything together and actually touch back on the topic from episode 3, the song & dance of parenting. For more details about the Method and other acting related sources feel free to check out the link in the bottom to the show notes and full transcript on the MFA website. Also, for each episode I put lots of fun random Hamilton links and more resources I reference as a parent, so check out past show notes if you wanna geek out a little bit.
And if you are on Instagram so am I. Check out @mfaparentingedition and give it a follow so you don’t miss anything.
If you enjoyed this episode and want to show your support please spread a beautiful act of kindness by rating it if you’re listening on Apple Podcasts and leaving a kind review if you feel so inclined, and telling at least one person about the show and that they can find it where they listen to their podcasts. Finally, thank you to those who have taken time to rate the podcast and leave a kind review, I appreciate your kind words and your generous hearts.
Again, thank you and I’ll see you on the other side
Mom: Angelica, can you say good-bye?
Angelica: Good-bye, good-bye.
Mom: Thank you.
Angelica: Thank you.
Episode title: Inside the Actor's Studio
Episode summary: Do we tune into the present moment regularly or operate on autopilot? How much awareness do we give to the everyday tasks we have in our life; to the mundane habitual things like brushing our teeth, getting dressed, grabbing our phones? How do we engage with our children when they are focused and concentrating on the little things in life (or the big things)? Do we get impatient with them, interrupt them to do something we think is more important or with a “so what are you doing?” Do we engage with the world around us fully, with our mind, body and soul?
Our goal today is to heighten our awareness to the little things we do every day to strengthen our concentration. Becoming more in tune with the nuances involved in what we habitually do, gives us more patience and understanding for our children as they learn new skills and brings us right into the present moment.
The History of the Method
What is the morning drink?
Teaching My Toddler How to Use a Cup
This Weeks Exercise
- The Morning Drink
A Short Story Before We Go:
- Magic Moments
The Raise a Glass Series
- The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
- Today’s lyrics – “It would be enough. That would be enough.” ~ Eliza Hamilton
Episode transcript: See full transcript below.
Spread a Beautiful Act of Kindness:
- Rate the podcast (and leave a kind review if you feel so inclined)
- Tell one person you know you enjoyed this podcast and they should check it out
Sources that inspired this episode:
These links are to podcasts or books that are important to me as a mom and have helped me on my journey of growth to create this podcast:
- The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
- Unruffled podcast by Janet Lansbury
- The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel, Ph.D
-------------
Full Transcript
Mom: Angelica, can you say hello?
Angelica: Hello! Hello?
Mom: How are you today?
Angelica: I doing well…how are you?
Mom: Well, I’m doing well also. (she laughs)
Welcome to MFA: The Parenting Edition, I’m Taisha Cameron. These lessons from the theatre for raising ourselves and our kids came about when I realized my MFA in acting trained me for life as a mommy better than life as a full-time actor. Today’s episode is the first in our 7-part series on the Method and it’s all about being present for the little things in life. We’ll explore some challenging questions, I’ll share some stories, and then we’ll end our episode with the Raise a Glass Series. So, without further ado, this is MFA.
Quote: “to concentrate, one must have an object of concentration; one cannot concentrate abstractly.” ~ Lee Strasberg in A Dream of Passion
Episode Five – The Cup
Question – Do we tune into the present moment regularly or operate on autopilot? How much awareness do we give to the everyday tasks we have in our life; to the mundane habitual things like brushing our teeth, getting dressed, grabbing our phones? How do we engage with our children when they are focused and concentrating on the little things in life (or the big things)? Do we get impatient with them, interrupt them to do something we think is more important or with a “so what are you doing?” Do we engage with the world around us fully, with our mind, body and soul?
Our goal today is to heighten our awareness to the little things we do every day to strengthen our concentration. Becoming more in tune with the nuances involved in what we habitually do, gives us more patience and understanding for our children as they learn new skills and brings us right into the present moment.
The History of the Method
Here’s the quickest acting history lesson you will ever have:
The Method, as it’s become named, is an approach to acting that Lee Strasberg expanded on from the teachings of Constantin Stanislavsky. Stanislavsky was a Russian actor who is essentially the father of the modern-day acting techniques we appreciate today and transformed theatre. The focus on concentration, sense memory, emotional memory and more all stemmed from Stanislavsky’s teachings. We will be getting into all those terms and more but, for now, we can thank Stanislavsky and his work at the Moscow Art Theatre. In the late 1920’s, two Russian actors from the Moscow Art Theatre, Richard Boleslavsky and Maria Ouspenskaya, stayed in the states (after performing here with their company) to form the Laboratory Theatre with the goal of training American actors in the acting techniques they were using back home. This is where Lee Strasberg found himself going and the rest you can say, is history. The following is a quote from Strasberg’s book, A Dream of Passion:
“The Method, therefore, is the procedure by which the actor can open control of his instrument, that is, the procedure by which the actor can use his affective memory to create a reality on stage.”
As the opening quote suggest, we can’t concentrate unless we have something specific to concentrate on. When we are concentrating, we are living through the present moment with whatever has our focus. To get to that point is where relaxation comes in.
For actors, relaxation is not about getting to a serene place of mind and body gooeyness. Look, life happens, how do we teach ourselves to find a level of relaxation without going to the spa, or the beach, or having a cup of tea or hitting the yoga mat – how do we find small ways of relaxing within ourselves? Relaxation is the release of tension. You do this by sitting in a chair and scanning your body to notice where you might be holding tension. Then breathe into those areas. [Breathe] That felt really good let’s do that again [Breathe]. You might find you need to move that area around, so for example, if the tension is in your neck (and that’s a big one for most people) you might need to roll your head around to help release any pressure. Breathe into it [breathe], and if all that is not working you might be ready to add some sound. “Ahaaaa!” that’s is. The “Hah” and “Ahhhaaaa” are sounds you will hear emanating from any psych ward, I mean Meth lab – nope, shit, I mean – from any Method based acting studio, there we go. Getting rid of as much tension as you can (cause you ain’t nevuh gonna get rid of all of it) helps prepare the actor for the work they’re about to do. And what’s the work we’re about to do today? It’s object work to help build our sense memory. What the hell is that? Well, I will tell you.
Humans possess five senses. Well, not all humans do, and some may lose one or more along life’s journey, but the body comes prepared to house five senses – touch, sight, smell, taste, hearing. Our body experiences the world through these senses which cause sensations within us. What sense memory does is to call upon our mind, body and soul to experience those sensations again. For example, the sense of smell can be super strong for people, my first grade teacher, Mrs. Randall, had a very distinct fragrance to her and over the last few decades since I was in her class if I catch a whiff of that smell, which I couldn’t even describe to you, I will be immediately transported into some memory of being in her classroom. Everything we encounter leaves an imprint on us. The goal of the sense memory work, for actors, is to be able to recreate those sensations as needed to aid us in fully living through the life of a character. It’s to train our mind, body and soul to use what we have, our instrument, which is our mind body and soul, for the art of acting, the art of theatre, the art of storytelling. Our instrument is not one we can put back in a case until tomorrow, we take it everywhere and experience everything with it. Strengthening our ability to concentrate comes with heightening the awareness of our senses.
A few months ago I decided to make the practice of using a cup part of Angelica’s routine. We’d practiced before and she had successfully done it a number of times. But it was just easier for her and a lot less messy for me to continue to hand her a sippy cup. Now Angelica, like most toddlers (and I’ve said this before) is not a will bender. She caught on to what I was doing and was having none of it. I started with presenting the same tiny glass cup we’d used before, with some water in it at every meal. This was not a new object but the frequency which she was now meant to engage with it had risen and she recognized the game. So, as only a toddler can do, she unapologetically and with sincerity and authority flat out said, “No.” If you were doing an improv scene, she just negated the whole thing and left you standing on the stage looking like a fool with nowhere to go. Now as mama bears go, I’m a bit hardcore and intense, I’m learning to calm the fuck down, but because of my nature we had some…battle of the wills moments. Since, I am trying to be a more respectful and empathetic mama, I did eventually say, “ya know what, she’ll let me know when she’s ready,” and we went back to the sippy cup. One day, she was about to eat breakfast and she asked for her sippy cup. And I realized it was in the dishwasher, which I had forgotten to run the night before. So, I had two choices: 1. Take it out, wash it, fill it with water, and hand it to her or, 2. Tell her it was dirty and there was only one cup available to drink from so she could use it or not. I went with option two. I handed her the tiny glass cup of water and she drank it without any complaints. And she has been drinking water from that glass three meals a day and anytime she’s thirsty all day long. I tell this story to show that it takes time to master a new skill and you can’t force it. I had relaxed the level of expectations around using the cup, so she was relaxed enough to practice, concentrate and continue to use it. She spilled a lot, still spills sometimes, and will sometimes intentionally spill but that’s part of the process.
“it takes 3 or 4 years for a youngster to train his muscles sufficiently so that the glass will reach the lips without spilling.” Thank you, Mr. Strasberg, for this little reminder to have patience with our children, when they’re learning, really, anything.
*Angelica Interlude
Mom: Alright, while you are in fashion world mama’s just gonna lay down here and -
Angelica: Wake up mama!
Mom: take a break
Angelica: It’s your birthday time, wake up.
Mom: It’s whose birthday time?
Angelica: It’s your birthday.
Mom: It’s my birthday?
Angelica: And you have to wake up.
Mom: Is it my birthday all day long?
Angelica: Yes, Happy birthday and here is your gift.
Mom: You have a gift for me?
Angelica: Yes.
Mom: You are just the sweetest. Oh, I love it! It’s beautiful Angelica thank you so much.
Angelica: And I’m going to share it with my best friend Zoe.
Mom: Wait! You’re gonna share my gift with your best friend Zoe?
Angelia: Yes.
Mom: How is that fair?
This Weeks Exercise:
Strasberg said, “concentration starts with an actor’s ability to recreate objects which he encounters every day.” With that said, are you ready for your morning drink? Great! Let’s go!
Start by studying what you drink in the morning. For most people in the world that’s probably a cup of coffee (I am not like most people in the world I don’t drink the stuff I got energy for days so coffee need no place in my body) but whether your morning drink of choice is water, tea, coffee or juice let’s pay attention to how you drink it.
As you sit down to enjoy it (or stand, do you) engage all your senses. Pay attention to how you hold your glass, the actual position of your hand on the cup. Feel the temperature of the drink in your hand, how does that make you adjust your hands around the cup? Concentrate on its weight. This will naturally lead to you observing the mechanics of how you move your arm to raise the glass to your mouth. Now once the cup is close to your face maybe you look at the color, inhale a good waft of that aroma [inhale] doesn’t that water smell great, listen as you drink to the sounds you make or the sound of the liquid moving in the cup. And don’t forget to check in with your hand and arm position as you hold the cup after that initial sip or place it back down. Concentrate on these details and engaging as much of your senses as possible for at least the first few sips of your drink.
Now, here’s the test. After you’ve enjoyed the rest of your drink and stopped concentrating so much energy on it - try to recreate those sensations without the cup in hand. [gasp] Is it possible? It’s not about miming or going through the pretend action of drinking or just imagining “oh now my cup is full of coffee” it’s about seeing if your body can recreate the sensations you experienced. So take a deep breathe, relax into it, and then observe. Can you recreate the shape of the cup in your hand, feel the temperature of it? Does your body remember it’s weight and the position of your arm as you raise the drink to your mouth? How does it smell, look, feel on your lips?
You might find nothing happens. You can’t recreate a godddamn thing and that’s fine. If you feel like trying it again the next day or a few days later try it. You can try this on and off for the rest of your life. If you were able to recreate a sensation or two, that’s wonderful, I’d encourage you to keep practicing each day and building that connection to your senses and your sense memory. It’s not about doing anything “right” or being “successful” at this exercise. The goal is about choosing to be present and experience your life.
So lovelies, I’ll ask you again,
How much awareness do we give to the everyday tasks we have in our life?
Do we tune into the present moment regularly or operate on autopilot?
When we get in the groove of running on autopilot that’s our life just zipping away. We spend so much time trying to hurry through the simple mundane tasks to get to the next thing we want to pay attention to, we’re basically saying, “this area of my life is not worth living right now so tune out and move on.” We may find that the time we wish we had more of is there, but we’ve just been hopscotching over it.
A Short Story Before We Go
She looked so beautiful. The sunlight cut through the blinds highlighting her golden-brown curls. As she held her Anna dolls, from Frozen, she sang along to the Peppa Pig lullaby sailing from my phone. The warmth of my cup of tea kept me grounded in her essence. But before this moment I’m not sure where my mind was. I’m not fully aware what brought my mind back either; whether it was her singing or the cup in my hand but once I was dialed in, I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
My hands wrapped snuggly around the beige mug with gold trimming and the large letter T on the front. It had been a Christmas gift from one of my sisters a few years ago which I was reminded of as I held it against my chest to feel the heat stamp itself on my heart. Her singing, soft and full of color, tangled with the heat from the cup to do a pas de deux through my chest. The aroma of hibiscus filled my nose as I inhaled deeply. Everything about this moment I wanted to inhale deeply. I found myself doing the actor trick of noticing a moment and storing it away just in case we might need it later. Bookmarking our life’s emotions, sensations, experiences for the art of storytelling. Right now I wasn’t storing this for a role but I was storing it in my mommy treasure box of memories so when she’s older and doesn’t want to sit around singing songs with me I’ll have it for my own sake. To warm my own aching heart.
My middle finger looped through the handle and I clenched the cup tighter to my chest. Raising my arms to lift it made me take in the deep red color of the tea. Breathing in the smell again I was aware that my senses were taking in everything around me. I was so present noticing my seat on the shaggy chic pink rug, feeling the cup in my hands, looking at the vivid color while noticing from my periphery Angelica sitting in the sunlight singing in her sweet voice. There was no expectation to do anything. We could do a million activities later. The outside could wait. This moment was magic.
Raise A Glass Series
The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
“It would be enough, that would be enough.”
The feel of a warm hug, the sound of your child laughing, the taste of your favorite meal, the smell of a rainy day, the sight of the person you love. The world imprints tiny moments on our soul all the time. When we slow down, relax and concentrate on what our environment is sharing with us we can finally experience life. Our children may be able to find relaxation and concentration faster than us because they are still in awe of the world around them. We can learn from observing them study their environment how we can better investigate ours. So, as a final note on concentration let me encourage you to stay the hell out of your kids way when they’re focused. Of course, so long as their focus is not causing harm to themselves, others or causing damage that will cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to repair. That should be a given…but just in case you needed to hear that, there it is.
Let’s raise a glass to strengthening our ability to concentrate, taking in life’s small wonders and providing the environment for our children to do the same. Because to truly enjoy life, that would be enough.
That’s all for today guys and dolls. Thank you so much for joining me again for another episode.
Next week we’ll take our second exploration into the Method, with a little mirror mirror on the wall who’s the fiercest parent of all. Those of you who’ve been listening I’m sure caught that at the end of episode 4 I mentioned that this would be an 8-part series, but there have been some revisions. This episode and the next 5 will be centered around specific exercises and then the 7th and last one in this series will tie everything together and actually touch back on the topic from episode 3, the song & dance of parenting. For more details about the Method and other acting related sources feel free to check out the link in the bottom to the show notes and full transcript on the MFA website. Also, for each episode I put lots of fun random Hamilton links and more resources I reference as a parent, so check out past show notes if you wanna geek out a little bit.
And if you are on Instagram so am I. Check out @mfaparentingedition and give it a follow so you don’t miss anything.
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Again, thank you and I’ll see you on the other side
Mom: Angelica, can you say good-bye?
Angelica: Good-bye, good-bye.
Mom: Thank you.
Angelica: Thank you.