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MFA: THE PARENTING EDITION EPISODE 4 SHOW NOTES
Episode title: Forgiveness
Episode summary: How difficult is it to forgive? To forgive others, to forgive ourselves. Why do we hold on to so much anger and pain when all it does is cause us suffering? How do we clean this residue from our hearts? What does it take to forgive? Nothing. It is a choice.
Art Reflect Life
Mommy Mean Girl
A Short Story Before We Go:
The Raise a Glass Series:
Episode transcript: See full transcript below.
Spread a Beautiful Act of Kindness:
Sources that inspired this episode:
These links are to podcasts or books that are important to me as a mom and have helped me on my journey of growth to create this podcast:
*Click this link for The Method resources for the 8 part series which begins next week
-------------------------------------------------
FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Mom: Angelica, can you say hello?
Angelica: Hello! Hello?
Mom: How are you today?
Angelica: I doing well…how are you?
Mom: Well I’m doing well also. (she laughs)
Welcome to MFA: The Parenting Edition, I’m Taisha Cameron. These lessons from the theatre for raising ourselves and our kids came about when I realized my MFA in acting trained me for life as a mommy better than life as a full-time actor. Today’s episode is all about forgiveness. We’ll explore some challenging questions, I’ll share some stories, and then we’ll end our episode with the Raise a Glass Series. So, without further ado, this is MFA.
Quote: “Forgiveness, can you imagine” ~ lyrics from “It’s Quiet Uptown” in Hamilton: An American Musical
Episode Four – Forgiveness
Question - How difficult is it to forgive? To forgive ourselves, to forgive others. Why do we hold on to so much anger and pain when all it does is cause us suffering? How do we clean this residue from our hearts?
As you might’ve guessed by now, I’m Ham4Ham, which if you don’t know now you know, which means I’m crazy about Hamilton. This show is one that has been a constant in my life the last four years. I’ve never turned to a soundtrack, especially a musical soundtrack, to get me through some of life’s most beautiful and grief-stricken times the way I have with the Hamilton soundtrack. “Forgiveness, can you imagine” the cast of Hamilton sings as Eliza takes Alexanders hand. They are in mourning, death, deceit and a world of transgressions that go on in the privacy of a relationship no one else knows. There it goes again – theatre being the mirror to our souls. We feel for them because we know them, we are them, we live these emotions. Circumstances will differ in each of us but loss, suffering, anger, resentment, despair, agony will grip us all. We may hope and pray that the level to which we are impacted is minimal, but we know it’s part of life. We turn to art to feel something, feel everything. I find the moments in theatre, or connecting to any artistic medium (film, tv, music, poetry, novels, paintings and so on), I find the moments that impact me the most significantly, are the ones that trigger areas of my heart in need of attention. Physical sensations are stirred due to the emotional response in my body, for example: through waves of goosebumps under my skin, the pit that drops in my stomach, the slither of water flushing my face from the inside and blurring my eyes. Whatever is activated needs to be investigated. That’s the bridge we talked about in episode three; art being the bridge to our humanity. When my body responds in that way it’s time for me to examine how I can make amends, stretch my compassion, find forgiveness in a situation, another person, or myself.
The other day I was having a less than stellar day with my daughter. She was being true to her three-year-old nature and I was having none of it. I completely allowed a child, my child and her behavior to irritate the fuck out of me because I wanted to feel like a parent in control and have her bend to my will. This munchkin of mine, like most 3-year old’s, is not a will bender. If I get loud she gets louder, if I get sassy she goes into straight diva mode, she will not be out yelled or out talked. I have taught her that when you are upset trying to impose your will is the way to make yourself feel like you have some control. So, she’s just doing what I’ve taught her. This was not a conscious choice of mine. It’s been me reacting and her learning from what I’ve modeled. I thought the world would send me a more compliant child, haha – that was God laughing at me. At bath time that night I was done. She hadn’t napped and was falling apart in the most hyper way a toddler does and as she was making some obnoxious toddler sounds on repeat I dropped the towel from drying her off and spat “no one wants to hear you right now!” She got so quiet. I immediately felt that sensation of dread wash over me and I thought “I’ve just killed her spirit. This is how it starts happening,” and my eyes welled up. I finished helping her into her pull up and told her to go to her room. By now she’s singing again and scampering to her room to play with Elmo and Elsa that were lying on the floor, and I stayed in the bathroom and cried. What a cruel thing to say to someone? And it was my own child. I would’ve been pissed if anyone was so mean as to yell that at her. I teach her to be kind, share, apologize, stand up for yourself, and here I was being a mean girl because I lost my cool. I’m supposed to be the adult not respond like a child. And I didn’t apologize that night either. I handled her with more compassion, that stemmed from my mommy guilt, and handed her off to daddy to finish bedtime. I was not the person to be sending her off to lala land peacefully and she deserved that. When I talked to my husband later and told him I lost my cool and said something mean to her he was like yeah I heard it, it was. And that’s why I keep him around, hits me with honesty all the time. But it made me have to face my own failure as a mom. And we fail. Yes, we fail in life and relationships all the time. The blessing is that failure, if taken as a lesson, is a yellow brick road to personal growth. The next morning, I did apologize for not being able to calm down and be more respectful when I got upset. I told her she was actually really good at using her calm down techniques and I wanted to learn to be good at them like she was. She was kind of looking past me most of the time I spoke to her but she smiled when I was done so I’m hoping she got the positive vibes I was sending her.
Do we forgive ourselves when our demon ego anxiety monster roars at our children, whether we felt they deserved it or not?
Do we apologize to them and mean it, not a bullshit “I’m sorry” with lots of attitude and indifference, but from the true sincerity in our souls?
Do we, again, model how to apologize with sincerity and offer forgiveness with openness and compassion, have our kids seen us do this?
*Angelica Interlude
Mom: Your behavior and the actions you were choosing were very disrespectful. It kept on disrupting mommy from her work and it kept you from being able to play and have a good time. So, when you feel really mad and you ask mommy for something and I say no, what is something you can do to help you calm down?
Angelica: I have to breathe enough and count and then I feel much better and then I ready to eat animal crackers and cookies…and everything and pretzels.
Mom: So, what I heard you say was, you need to breathe and count and then you’ll feel much better and then you’ll be ready to eat animal crackers and cookies and pretzels?
Angelica: Yes.
Mom: I think you hit the nail on the head with most of that.
Our ability to offer forgiveness to ourselves and others means we can teach our children to do the same in their lives. It means we can gift them the tools to become more empathetic, compassionate human beings. That is not a weakness but a strength. Forgiveness is our most powerful superpower. And who doesn’t want a superpower? I mean seriously, if there were a line for superpowers how many of us are really gonna be the person that says, “Is this the line for superpowers? It is? Okay, I’m gonna pass.” No way! Most of us will be like, “Is this the line for superpowers? Okay, umm, the end of the line is that way? Great, thank you!” But to know there is no line and we can access this ability immediately means we can all live up to the phrase, “Not all heroes wear capes.” Kids love superheroes, hell, adults love superheroes – look at all the Marvel movies that exist (and we’ve seen them all)! Let’s own our power and teach it to our kids. But, like with all our powers, gifts and strengths if we don’t exercise them they become weak and a lot harder to access. I want to learn how to fully utilize this gift of forgiveness in my life so I can teach my daughter how she can use it and use it well.
What would the world look like if we all tapped into our power of forgiveness, can you imagine?
Question Recap
So, what does it take to forgive?
Nothing.
It’s a choice. We can choose to let go and find peace or say fuck it, I’m holding this pain and riding this demon car all the way to hell and taking as many people with me as I can.
Maybe we should ask what does it cost not to?
A Short Story Before We Go
Once upon a time there was a couple who wanted nothing more than to be parents. They wished and prayed. They tried not to make it a big deal and to be soooo totally okay if it didn’t happen for them. Then one day their prayers were answered. But, as with all prayers, you must be careful what you wish for, for there is fine print in every contract.
Before they knew it the big day arrived, oh no, not that big day, that was still months away, but the 20-week ultrasound. This is the day couples find out just how wonderfully their little bundle of joy is growing.
Not all parents are gifted sunshine and roses during that appointment.
They sat in the restaurant afterwards silently sobbing, holding hands, engrossed in their thoughts and Google. Now, they knew better than to sit around googling and consulting WebMD because all results will convince you you’re going to die. But they couldn’t help it, they needed answers.
Dandy Walker Malformation. A rare congenital brain malformation affecting the cerebellum, the area of the brain primarily responsible for coordinating movement.
The husband showed his wife a story he read which was full of hope for typical development, a normal childhood. But how much hope can you really have when your child is missing part of their brain? Missing all or part of your cerebellum means no walking, right? Delayed motor development, delayed everything development? Chances of hydrocephalus through the roof, shunts, seizures, gross motor delays, fine motor delays, what will be normal about that childhood?
Each day brought more questions, more uncertainty, more fear. Separately, thoughts of what did I do to cause this floated through their minds. The wife wondered if it was punishment for her sins, payback for those she’d wronged intentionally or unintentionally, revenge from some slighted person who sought out evil witchcraft for retribution.
Through all this there was one thing that kept them bonded. Well, yes, love but they also turned to music for comfort, consolation, and communion. The Hamilton soundtrack was their place of refuge. It’s Quiet Uptown became the song to release the pain in their souls and ask for forgiveness and grace. Dear Theodosia became a song for peace and longing. Wait for It really just became the mantra they lived by.
As with all things in life, sometimes your world keeps turning upside down before you are out of the hurricane. During the course of their pregnancy they had to say good-bye to four family members; one of those loses caused a rupture in the family that is still not healed to this day. Mourning brings out strange reactions in people and walls of anger, sadness and fear were built up between factions of the family. Forgiveness was not an offering on the table. The couple had no idea what life would mean for them once their angel joined the world, but they prayed they could find a respite from the anguish they’d been living through.
Well, a few little miracles happened. An appointment was set up with a pediatric neurosurgeon to talk to them about Dandy Walker and help them prepare. The couple left the meeting with hope. The hope that all parents initially have when they find out their pregnant, that they will have the strength to handle whatever comes their way. And then they were gifted a trip, a Baby Moon you might call it, to New York…to see Hamilton on Broadway. Well, it couldn’t possibly get any better than that! But it did.
With their hearts a little bit lighter they decided to treat themselves. The wife went to her night table one afternoon and took out a small white envelope they had never intended to open. They sat on the couch, looked into each other’s eyes and gave the “let’s do this” head nod. With that small signal she opened the envelope, pulled out the folded paper inside and unfolded it. In black permanent marker was written one word – GIRL. This of course meant one thing for them, her name would have to be Angelica!
Raise A Glass Series
The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
“Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now.”
[breathe] Yes. Yes we are.
This life is a blessing. Let’s honor that everyday by choosing forgiveness. And in that spirit, I want to send my apologies to my family whom I don’t speak with anymore. These last three years have been filled with mourning, anger, fear, blame, sadness and silence. My therapist once told me that family’s that cut each other off repeat the cycle. I do not want this for us anymore, I do not wish this on your family’s nor do I wish it on mine. I apologize for my words in anger, my deletion of you from my life and the life of my daughter and for my silence when what was needed was words of comfort and peace. I love you. And same goes true for any person out there that my pain, actions or silence have caused harm to – I apologize. I’m learning to grown and I hope this is received with sincerity.
Let’s raise a glass to offering forgiveness to ourselves, to those we’ve wronged and to those who have wronged us.
This episode is dedicated in loving memory to Sixto Troche, Carmen Troche, Nelly Maldonado, John Maldonado, Gladys Cameron, Earl Cameron, Sheraun Frias, Nala, Leo, and Clinton. May I see you all on the other side one day.
That’s all for today guys and dolls. Thank you so much for joining me for another episode. Each episode is very personal to me and it takes me a long time to figure out what I feel comfortable writing and sharing. I thank you again for allowing my journey and the journey I’d like us to take together into your life. It is not lost on me you can be listening to anything else in the world, so I truly appreciate your time, support, and trust in me. In theatre we get intimate real fast.
Next week we’ll return to lighter topics, I think, when we begin our first exploration into Lee Strasberg’s Method. This will be an 8-part series going through some exercises from the Method and applying them to our life, most importantly to our parenting lives. For more details before it starts feel free to check out the link on the MFA website, which is in the show notes below.
And finally, I’ve rejoined the world of social media again, huzzah! Just Instagram though, I can’t handle anything else right now. So, if you’re into all that jazz and wanna check out stories and posts from the world of MFA: The Parenting Edition, check out @mfaparentingedition and give it a follow so you don’t miss anything.
Now I’m officially done, oh no wait…
If you enjoyed this episode and want to show your support please spread a beautiful act of kindness by rating it if your listening on Apple podcasts and leaving a kind review if you feel so inclined, and telling at least one person about the show and that they can find it wherever they listen to their podcasts.
Again, thank you and I’ll see you on the other side
Mom: Angelica, can you say good-bye?
Angelica: Good-bye, good-bye.
Mom: Thank you.
Angelica: Thank you.
Episode title: Forgiveness
Episode summary: How difficult is it to forgive? To forgive others, to forgive ourselves. Why do we hold on to so much anger and pain when all it does is cause us suffering? How do we clean this residue from our hearts? What does it take to forgive? Nothing. It is a choice.
Art Reflect Life
- “It’s Quiet Uptown” Hamilton
Mommy Mean Girl
- My Regina George moment
A Short Story Before We Go:
- The Couple Who Wanted a Baby
The Raise a Glass Series:
- The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
- Today’s lyrics – “Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now” ~ Eliza Hamilton
Episode transcript: See full transcript below.
Spread a Beautiful Act of Kindness:
- Rate the podcast (and leave a kind review if you feel so inclined)
- Tell one person you know you enjoyed this podcast and they should check it out
Sources that inspired this episode:
- Resources for:
- Dandy Walker Malformation
- https://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/all-disorders/dandy-walker-syndrome-information-page
- We actually spoke to people at this organization when Angelica was diagnosed and they were very helpful.
- http://dandy-walker.org/
- We’re also part of a FB group to support families with Dandy Walker
- https://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/all-disorders/dandy-walker-syndrome-information-page
- Hydrocephalus
- Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital Department of Pediatric Neurosurgery
- This is the team that helped our little Angelica
- Dandy Walker Malformation
- Ham4Ham links:
These links are to podcasts or books that are important to me as a mom and have helped me on my journey of growth to create this podcast:
- The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
- Unruffled podcast by Janet Lansbury
- The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel, Ph.D
*Click this link for The Method resources for the 8 part series which begins next week
-------------------------------------------------
FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Mom: Angelica, can you say hello?
Angelica: Hello! Hello?
Mom: How are you today?
Angelica: I doing well…how are you?
Mom: Well I’m doing well also. (she laughs)
Welcome to MFA: The Parenting Edition, I’m Taisha Cameron. These lessons from the theatre for raising ourselves and our kids came about when I realized my MFA in acting trained me for life as a mommy better than life as a full-time actor. Today’s episode is all about forgiveness. We’ll explore some challenging questions, I’ll share some stories, and then we’ll end our episode with the Raise a Glass Series. So, without further ado, this is MFA.
Quote: “Forgiveness, can you imagine” ~ lyrics from “It’s Quiet Uptown” in Hamilton: An American Musical
Episode Four – Forgiveness
Question - How difficult is it to forgive? To forgive ourselves, to forgive others. Why do we hold on to so much anger and pain when all it does is cause us suffering? How do we clean this residue from our hearts?
As you might’ve guessed by now, I’m Ham4Ham, which if you don’t know now you know, which means I’m crazy about Hamilton. This show is one that has been a constant in my life the last four years. I’ve never turned to a soundtrack, especially a musical soundtrack, to get me through some of life’s most beautiful and grief-stricken times the way I have with the Hamilton soundtrack. “Forgiveness, can you imagine” the cast of Hamilton sings as Eliza takes Alexanders hand. They are in mourning, death, deceit and a world of transgressions that go on in the privacy of a relationship no one else knows. There it goes again – theatre being the mirror to our souls. We feel for them because we know them, we are them, we live these emotions. Circumstances will differ in each of us but loss, suffering, anger, resentment, despair, agony will grip us all. We may hope and pray that the level to which we are impacted is minimal, but we know it’s part of life. We turn to art to feel something, feel everything. I find the moments in theatre, or connecting to any artistic medium (film, tv, music, poetry, novels, paintings and so on), I find the moments that impact me the most significantly, are the ones that trigger areas of my heart in need of attention. Physical sensations are stirred due to the emotional response in my body, for example: through waves of goosebumps under my skin, the pit that drops in my stomach, the slither of water flushing my face from the inside and blurring my eyes. Whatever is activated needs to be investigated. That’s the bridge we talked about in episode three; art being the bridge to our humanity. When my body responds in that way it’s time for me to examine how I can make amends, stretch my compassion, find forgiveness in a situation, another person, or myself.
The other day I was having a less than stellar day with my daughter. She was being true to her three-year-old nature and I was having none of it. I completely allowed a child, my child and her behavior to irritate the fuck out of me because I wanted to feel like a parent in control and have her bend to my will. This munchkin of mine, like most 3-year old’s, is not a will bender. If I get loud she gets louder, if I get sassy she goes into straight diva mode, she will not be out yelled or out talked. I have taught her that when you are upset trying to impose your will is the way to make yourself feel like you have some control. So, she’s just doing what I’ve taught her. This was not a conscious choice of mine. It’s been me reacting and her learning from what I’ve modeled. I thought the world would send me a more compliant child, haha – that was God laughing at me. At bath time that night I was done. She hadn’t napped and was falling apart in the most hyper way a toddler does and as she was making some obnoxious toddler sounds on repeat I dropped the towel from drying her off and spat “no one wants to hear you right now!” She got so quiet. I immediately felt that sensation of dread wash over me and I thought “I’ve just killed her spirit. This is how it starts happening,” and my eyes welled up. I finished helping her into her pull up and told her to go to her room. By now she’s singing again and scampering to her room to play with Elmo and Elsa that were lying on the floor, and I stayed in the bathroom and cried. What a cruel thing to say to someone? And it was my own child. I would’ve been pissed if anyone was so mean as to yell that at her. I teach her to be kind, share, apologize, stand up for yourself, and here I was being a mean girl because I lost my cool. I’m supposed to be the adult not respond like a child. And I didn’t apologize that night either. I handled her with more compassion, that stemmed from my mommy guilt, and handed her off to daddy to finish bedtime. I was not the person to be sending her off to lala land peacefully and she deserved that. When I talked to my husband later and told him I lost my cool and said something mean to her he was like yeah I heard it, it was. And that’s why I keep him around, hits me with honesty all the time. But it made me have to face my own failure as a mom. And we fail. Yes, we fail in life and relationships all the time. The blessing is that failure, if taken as a lesson, is a yellow brick road to personal growth. The next morning, I did apologize for not being able to calm down and be more respectful when I got upset. I told her she was actually really good at using her calm down techniques and I wanted to learn to be good at them like she was. She was kind of looking past me most of the time I spoke to her but she smiled when I was done so I’m hoping she got the positive vibes I was sending her.
Do we forgive ourselves when our demon ego anxiety monster roars at our children, whether we felt they deserved it or not?
Do we apologize to them and mean it, not a bullshit “I’m sorry” with lots of attitude and indifference, but from the true sincerity in our souls?
Do we, again, model how to apologize with sincerity and offer forgiveness with openness and compassion, have our kids seen us do this?
*Angelica Interlude
Mom: Your behavior and the actions you were choosing were very disrespectful. It kept on disrupting mommy from her work and it kept you from being able to play and have a good time. So, when you feel really mad and you ask mommy for something and I say no, what is something you can do to help you calm down?
Angelica: I have to breathe enough and count and then I feel much better and then I ready to eat animal crackers and cookies…and everything and pretzels.
Mom: So, what I heard you say was, you need to breathe and count and then you’ll feel much better and then you’ll be ready to eat animal crackers and cookies and pretzels?
Angelica: Yes.
Mom: I think you hit the nail on the head with most of that.
Our ability to offer forgiveness to ourselves and others means we can teach our children to do the same in their lives. It means we can gift them the tools to become more empathetic, compassionate human beings. That is not a weakness but a strength. Forgiveness is our most powerful superpower. And who doesn’t want a superpower? I mean seriously, if there were a line for superpowers how many of us are really gonna be the person that says, “Is this the line for superpowers? It is? Okay, I’m gonna pass.” No way! Most of us will be like, “Is this the line for superpowers? Okay, umm, the end of the line is that way? Great, thank you!” But to know there is no line and we can access this ability immediately means we can all live up to the phrase, “Not all heroes wear capes.” Kids love superheroes, hell, adults love superheroes – look at all the Marvel movies that exist (and we’ve seen them all)! Let’s own our power and teach it to our kids. But, like with all our powers, gifts and strengths if we don’t exercise them they become weak and a lot harder to access. I want to learn how to fully utilize this gift of forgiveness in my life so I can teach my daughter how she can use it and use it well.
What would the world look like if we all tapped into our power of forgiveness, can you imagine?
Question Recap
So, what does it take to forgive?
Nothing.
It’s a choice. We can choose to let go and find peace or say fuck it, I’m holding this pain and riding this demon car all the way to hell and taking as many people with me as I can.
Maybe we should ask what does it cost not to?
A Short Story Before We Go
Once upon a time there was a couple who wanted nothing more than to be parents. They wished and prayed. They tried not to make it a big deal and to be soooo totally okay if it didn’t happen for them. Then one day their prayers were answered. But, as with all prayers, you must be careful what you wish for, for there is fine print in every contract.
Before they knew it the big day arrived, oh no, not that big day, that was still months away, but the 20-week ultrasound. This is the day couples find out just how wonderfully their little bundle of joy is growing.
Not all parents are gifted sunshine and roses during that appointment.
They sat in the restaurant afterwards silently sobbing, holding hands, engrossed in their thoughts and Google. Now, they knew better than to sit around googling and consulting WebMD because all results will convince you you’re going to die. But they couldn’t help it, they needed answers.
Dandy Walker Malformation. A rare congenital brain malformation affecting the cerebellum, the area of the brain primarily responsible for coordinating movement.
The husband showed his wife a story he read which was full of hope for typical development, a normal childhood. But how much hope can you really have when your child is missing part of their brain? Missing all or part of your cerebellum means no walking, right? Delayed motor development, delayed everything development? Chances of hydrocephalus through the roof, shunts, seizures, gross motor delays, fine motor delays, what will be normal about that childhood?
Each day brought more questions, more uncertainty, more fear. Separately, thoughts of what did I do to cause this floated through their minds. The wife wondered if it was punishment for her sins, payback for those she’d wronged intentionally or unintentionally, revenge from some slighted person who sought out evil witchcraft for retribution.
Through all this there was one thing that kept them bonded. Well, yes, love but they also turned to music for comfort, consolation, and communion. The Hamilton soundtrack was their place of refuge. It’s Quiet Uptown became the song to release the pain in their souls and ask for forgiveness and grace. Dear Theodosia became a song for peace and longing. Wait for It really just became the mantra they lived by.
As with all things in life, sometimes your world keeps turning upside down before you are out of the hurricane. During the course of their pregnancy they had to say good-bye to four family members; one of those loses caused a rupture in the family that is still not healed to this day. Mourning brings out strange reactions in people and walls of anger, sadness and fear were built up between factions of the family. Forgiveness was not an offering on the table. The couple had no idea what life would mean for them once their angel joined the world, but they prayed they could find a respite from the anguish they’d been living through.
Well, a few little miracles happened. An appointment was set up with a pediatric neurosurgeon to talk to them about Dandy Walker and help them prepare. The couple left the meeting with hope. The hope that all parents initially have when they find out their pregnant, that they will have the strength to handle whatever comes their way. And then they were gifted a trip, a Baby Moon you might call it, to New York…to see Hamilton on Broadway. Well, it couldn’t possibly get any better than that! But it did.
With their hearts a little bit lighter they decided to treat themselves. The wife went to her night table one afternoon and took out a small white envelope they had never intended to open. They sat on the couch, looked into each other’s eyes and gave the “let’s do this” head nod. With that small signal she opened the envelope, pulled out the folded paper inside and unfolded it. In black permanent marker was written one word – GIRL. This of course meant one thing for them, her name would have to be Angelica!
Raise A Glass Series
The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
“Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now.”
[breathe] Yes. Yes we are.
This life is a blessing. Let’s honor that everyday by choosing forgiveness. And in that spirit, I want to send my apologies to my family whom I don’t speak with anymore. These last three years have been filled with mourning, anger, fear, blame, sadness and silence. My therapist once told me that family’s that cut each other off repeat the cycle. I do not want this for us anymore, I do not wish this on your family’s nor do I wish it on mine. I apologize for my words in anger, my deletion of you from my life and the life of my daughter and for my silence when what was needed was words of comfort and peace. I love you. And same goes true for any person out there that my pain, actions or silence have caused harm to – I apologize. I’m learning to grown and I hope this is received with sincerity.
Let’s raise a glass to offering forgiveness to ourselves, to those we’ve wronged and to those who have wronged us.
This episode is dedicated in loving memory to Sixto Troche, Carmen Troche, Nelly Maldonado, John Maldonado, Gladys Cameron, Earl Cameron, Sheraun Frias, Nala, Leo, and Clinton. May I see you all on the other side one day.
That’s all for today guys and dolls. Thank you so much for joining me for another episode. Each episode is very personal to me and it takes me a long time to figure out what I feel comfortable writing and sharing. I thank you again for allowing my journey and the journey I’d like us to take together into your life. It is not lost on me you can be listening to anything else in the world, so I truly appreciate your time, support, and trust in me. In theatre we get intimate real fast.
Next week we’ll return to lighter topics, I think, when we begin our first exploration into Lee Strasberg’s Method. This will be an 8-part series going through some exercises from the Method and applying them to our life, most importantly to our parenting lives. For more details before it starts feel free to check out the link on the MFA website, which is in the show notes below.
And finally, I’ve rejoined the world of social media again, huzzah! Just Instagram though, I can’t handle anything else right now. So, if you’re into all that jazz and wanna check out stories and posts from the world of MFA: The Parenting Edition, check out @mfaparentingedition and give it a follow so you don’t miss anything.
Now I’m officially done, oh no wait…
If you enjoyed this episode and want to show your support please spread a beautiful act of kindness by rating it if your listening on Apple podcasts and leaving a kind review if you feel so inclined, and telling at least one person about the show and that they can find it wherever they listen to their podcasts.
Again, thank you and I’ll see you on the other side
Mom: Angelica, can you say good-bye?
Angelica: Good-bye, good-bye.
Mom: Thank you.
Angelica: Thank you.