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Episode title: Let Me Entertain You
Episode summary: This song & dance we do to engage with our children, is it a requirement? What do I mean by song & dance? I mean do we have to know how to be clowns, princess & princes, pirates, singers, songwriters, dancers, comedians, the ultimate performer to be an engaging parent? Will our children be missing something by us not providing them with constant stimulation and entertainment? No, but it is important. Let’s make sure we’re keeping that entertaining quality in check though. Stillness, quiet, free space and boredom are all necessary for their development, their own exploration of the world and imagination building. For this episode we’ll examine how to find the balance between being ON and calming the eff down.
Let Me Entertain You
A Short Story Before We Go:
The Raise a Glass Series:
Episode transcript: See full transcript below.
Spread a Beautiful Act of Kindness:
These links are to podcasts or books that are important to me as a mom and have helped me on my journey of growth to create this podcast:
-------------------------------------------------
FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Mom: Angelica, can you say hello?
Angelica: Hello! Hello?
Mom: How are you today?
Angelica: I doing well…how are you?
Mom: Well I’m doing well also. (she laughs)
Welcome to MFA: The Parenting Edition, I’m Taisha Cameron. These lessons from the theatre for raising ourselves and our kids came about when I realized my MFA in acting trained me for life as a mommy better than life as a full-time actor. Today’s episode is all about the song & dance of parenting. We’ll explore some challenging questions, I’ll share some stories, and then we’ll end our episode with the Raise a Glass Series. So, without further ado, this is MFA.
Quote: “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players;” Jaques in As You Like It
Episode Three – Let Me Entertain You
Question - this song & dance we do to engage with our children, is it a requirement? What do I mean by song & dance? I mean do we have to know how to be clowns, princess & princes, pirates, singers, songwriters, dancers, comedians, the ultimate performer to be an engaging parent? Will our children be missing something by us not providing them with constant stimulation and entertainment?
When I first became a mom, I felt like I needed to entertain my daughter all the time. I was in a constant state of “let me entertain you.” At the times I was feeling less than eager to “perform” I had to find some other way of keeping her stimulated or suck it up and do that jig cause that’s part of the job, right? This is where my training is supposed to come in handy, I’d think to myself. In school I’d spend 16-18 hours a day either in class or rehearsing for multiple projects, memorizing lines, doing character work, dancing, singing, clowning, mask work, accent work all as part of my studies. Now, I have one baby and I don’t have to schlep all over the city like a bag lady, so this should be easy. I can focus all my creative energy on giving her everything she needs and wants.
It would work…until it didn’t. And it wasn’t just my daughter it stopped working for, it was for me too. I burnt out. I’d wonder, how is this possible? I’ll tell you. Children are energy vampires. They sniff that shit out and will suck the energy from any life force within a twenty-foot radius. That’s their talent. If they steal too much of your power they become overstimulated and lose their damn minds. If there is not enough energy for them to feed on, they are under stimulated and lose their damn minds. So, what do we do? Take, for example, a baby:
Do you want the bouncy chair? Yeah? Ok, bouncy chair, bouncy chair, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy chair. Bo-bado-boo-badoo. And we put the vibrations on yes? {make vibration noise}. Alright munchkin is that better? No, that’s not helping. What if…I put on the tv, ahh oooh look at that, look at all those bright colors. Isn’t that fun? Why are you still crying? Alright ok ok ok, mommy’ll put some music on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no don’t worry sweetie I’m not going to take the pictures away, the sounds just going bye bye. Yeah, say bye bye sound. Bye Bye sound. Now we put the music on your little iPad on your little iPad, do you wanna hear The Wheels on the Bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, or If You’re Happy and You Know It clap your hands? You know what, we’re just gonna go with God and say If You’re Happy and You Know It. Which, yep, nope I get it now it’s definitely not that one. How about a change in playtime partner, let’s get daddy – ok, let’s get daddy…oh daddy’s still knocked out from your last playtime together, god dammit. Alright, ok, that’s fine mommy’s here and I can sing you a song and we’ll have so much fun…
I’m so glad I’ve come across some of the books and podcasts on parenting that have reminded me doing less is okay, at times essential, not just for me as a mom but for my daughter too. For this episode I would love for us to find a balance between being ON and calming the fuck down.
What do I mean by being ON? I’ll answer that after this.
Angelica Interlude
Elmo (aka Mom): But now we’re gonna go to the beach? How are we gonna find anyone if we’re at the – whoa ho ho, Elmo likes the beach! Oh this is so much fun, let’s build a sand castle!
Angelica: No, let’s go in the water. (she giggles)
Elmo: Ok. Elmo likes that.
(she giggles)
Elmo: Splash splash splashing splashing with Angelica splash splash splashy in the water. Splash splash splashing –
Angelica: Wait!
Elmo: What happened?
Angelica: We have to find Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig…
Elmo: I thought you wanted to go to the beach? Elmo’s so confused right now, Elmo doesn’t know what to do. Does Elmo stay at the beach, -
Angelica: Yes
Elmo: does Elmos build a sand castle,
Angelica: Yes
Elmo: does Elmo look for Peppa Pig? WHAT SHOULD ELMP DO?!
Angelica: Build a sand castle. (she laughs)
Elmo: When in doubt build a sand castle. Let’s do it, yeah, yeah baby.
Angelica: Say wait, say Gelica, you’re sitting in Elmo’s spot.
Elmo: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Gelica! Gelica’s sitting in Elmo’s spot.
Angelica: (laughing) I know that!
Elmo: Silly Gelica! Ha ha ha he he he!
Angelica: (laughing) This is the best family vacation I’ve never seen Elmo.
Elmo: This is the best family vacation we’ve never seen.
So being ON.
Have you ever been in a room full of musical theatre actors? No? You’re so lucky. I have. It’s a little like this:
Imagine being surrounded by a gaggle of prepubescent teeny boppers who were just gifted backstage passes to see their favorite boy band. The shrieking, the hysteria, the “Oh My God, Oh My God,” the hugs after hugs after hugs, and more “OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD”! All the while secret hexes are being conjured to cause explosive diarrhea among the other’s so they’ll shit themselves in front of the band and die of total mortification.
I love actors, I love musical theatre actors but y’all know you’re always ON. Right?! Like, these words should not be a surprise to you. I can’t possibly be the first person saying this out loud.
Being On. Like a light switch. Flip it on and boom electricity. It’s working, it’s bright and hot and will consistently be that way until the bulb burns out.
For actors, if you’re ON you’re ready, electricity is flowing. 5 songs are sitting in your voice box ready to belt at any moment, 3 of them are fully choreographed: pas de barre, pas de barre, kick ball change, pirouette, fan kick; you got your classical comedic monologue, classical dramatic monologue, contemporary comedic monologue, contemporary dramatic monologue, monologues with accents, monologues from the show you’re currently in, monologues from the show you’re currently in that are not your role – when you got all this running through your veins and you come out the gate hot with everyone you interact with like you’re constantly auditioning, that means you’re always ON.
For parents, being ON is what I described earlier with my daughter Angelica when she was a baby. It is Let Me Entertain You Time so that you’ll be happy so I’ll feel like a good caring successful parent. It is Make Believe Time all day every day and you commit to your role like your life depends on it. Each activity you introduce to them is a celebration. Actual celebrations turn into full on events. Story time is not just story time but Masterpiece Theatre. Every parents level of ON is different based on their relationship with their imagination and sense of play. I can get down and play the most insane of games and understand the jibber jabber of toddlers and kids. That is one of my many talents. I can read a crowd of kids and pivot to new tactics and ways of engaging without ruffling my feathers too much. For the love of God, don’t ask me to do the same thing with middle or high schoolers cause all my magic vanishes. There are those in the world who have this gift and I say “Thank you Jesus.” My age group cuts off at 10. That gives me at least another good 7 great years with my daughter! So, for me, and people like me with a high threshold for imaginative play and theatrical antics we’re the ones who need to dial it back sometimes and calm the fuck down.
For those who have a more difficult time tapping into imaginative play learning how to be ON is a huge game changer in connecting with your kids. We spend our time teaching them to eat with a fork, use the potty, drink from a glass, share their toys, and all these other necessary life skills. Modeling how to play and access their imagination is another skill worthy of developing. Exploring ways to engage your sense of play and wonder is both for your children’s benefit and yours. I’m sure there’s tons of science that’s been written on these benefits – you should try and find it. I am not a scientist I’m an artist and my suggestions and observations are purely subjective. This is what I see from my relationship with my own daughter and the large number of kids that I’ve either taught or been blessed to have engaged with through my life. What I know is, when our kids see us be silly and weird it gives them permission to do it too. It also puts us right in the present moment with them. It sparks our imagination to look at objects in a new way and question how things work, we begin seeing the world through the eyes of our kids and no longer the eyes of an overworked, overstressed, cynical, pessimistic adult. It’s about showing our kids all the possibilities of play and having them take the reins and we come along for the ride like this ride is the most important and special ride that’s ever been created in the history of the world. Because at that moment, there with our kids, it is.
So, is the song & dance of parenting necessary? I think so. Finding ways to play in our life is what makes life worth living. That sense of play is what the theatre gives to us. But let’s make sure we’re keeping that entertaining quality in check. Stillness, quiet, free space and boredom are all necessary for their development, their own exploration of the world and imagination building. Let’s all commit a little time each and every day to jumping into imaginative worlds with our kids and seeing where it takes us.
A Short Story Before We Go
If we had to drive across these Oklahoma flatlands one more time I was gonna throw myself out the van. The van that smelled of coffee, cigarettes, dirty feet and stinky boy farts. 8 guys and 3 girls; if it were reversed the smells would’ve been way different. I couldn’t even tell you what month of the tour it was. I could, however, describe in detail the green and yellow-brown fields of Oklahoma...oh, that’s it, they’re green and yellow-brown. We performed in Oklahoma City a while back and had been cutting across I-40 from one state to another for weeks now. This time we were returning to perform.
Enid, Oklahoma.
Didn’t even know this place existed. And we were supposed to be at a middle school, which clearly had to have been a mistake cause this show was geared towards a younger audience. But there was no mistake soooo…this was gonna be hell.
We’d had terrible shows before: we’d forget our lines we’d make shit up, we’d intentionally try to get each other to “break” onstage (that’s an industry term for break character) – I didn’t, I longed to keep the integrity of our hip-hop Alice adventure through the big city; I played Alice. Basically, we got to the point we were trying to keep the show interesting for ourselves. Now, we were going to face teenage mutant ninja demons – otherwise known as middle schoolers. The last time I was around middle school kids, was when I was substitute teaching after college and got locked out of my classroom by these maniacs. They are my least favorite age group. I don’t know if it’s something I need to be in therapy for, but kids of this age, collectively, put me in a rage. We were going to be mocked, booed and laughed off the stage. It was going to be 45 minutes of pure hell.
And then an angel of mercy was sent from above.
Oh, they laughed alright, but at the jokes not us. They were invested, they participated, they clapped, they hollered, they made the show come to life. I walked off that stage flying high. I think we all did.
The only other time I felt that level of electricity during a show was when we performed in Camden, NJ.
The theatre was packed with hundreds of kids. Their boisterous voices rang out from the moment they entered the theatre. The minute the house went dark they erupted into a firestorm of cheers and screams, all being shushed, in vain, by their teachers. It was as close as I’d ever get to being a rock star.
“No, don’t do that!”, “Look out, she’s behind you. Behind you! NOOO!!!”
They were captivated. When we took our bow to the deafening sound of children’s cheers of excitement, my heart felt like it would burst. We had given them a gift and they had accepted it with their full hearts.
Children are the most genuine honest audience you will ever perform for. If they’re not engaged, you’ll know it, immediately. They’re the modern-day equivalent of Shakespearean Groundlings. But when you got’em they are invested with all their soul. They want to go on the ride with you because you’ve won their trust. You win their trust by being authentically who you are and respecting them for who they are. When you’re ON from that place, kids can sense it and when you’re not, they smell bullshit. A lot of times we think kids have to prove their trustworthiness to us but it’s the opposite. They’re the one’s new to this world looking to us for guidance. They need to know who they can trust.
I realized after the show in Enid, Oklahoma the thing that connected these two audiences and made them so receptive to our little touring show – a lack of access to the arts. We brought them something they most likely would never have had the opportunity to experience. It made me so aware how vital the performing arts are in sparking joy, educating, inspiring, and connecting to people across vastly different backgrounds. The arts are humanities bridge.
And that’s how I got my equity card.
Raise A Glass Series
The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
“Take a break”
Three little words. So simple.
But...our kids are running wild, we’re behind on work, there’s so much cleaning, we must keep them busy, we must keep them stimulated, there’s so much cleaning, gotta get’em off the tv – fuck it, let’em watch the tv, did I mention there’s so much cleaning, and on and on it goes. Have we allowed our kids to just be bored, to have free independent play as an essential part of their day, have we set up our homes for them to successfully have that free independent play, have we taught them to do some of the cleaning and organizing as part of their responsibility in the home, have we made our self-care a priority and not a wish on a falling star?
I am not good at taking time for myself, self-care is not always a priority. When I neglect it too long I suffer, my husband suffers and my daughter suffers. What I have been learning is the importance of taking a break. My daughter is an only child and I have felt that it was my job to be her constant playmate. It’s not. It’s called a union break, ladies and gentlemen. If we’re gonna make being a parent a job by calling it parenting then damn it, we need breaks. So, I set my home up for Angelica to do things independently and when she starts whining that she doesn’t want to I say, “Figure it out Alexander, that’s an order from your commander.” (I don’t but boy I’m gonna start saying that now)
So, let’s raise a glass to setting up our lives to take a break, allowing our children to get bored and get a break from us too. With great boredom comes great creativity. We can’t be ON when we need to if we’re running on empty.
So, take a break.
That’s all for today guys and dolls. Thank you so much for joining me again. With all the ridiculousness that comes with life my hope is this brings some joy to your day so your light can shine brighter.
Next week we’ll be talking about forgiveness.
If you enjoyed this episode and want to show your support please spread a beautiful act of kindness by rating it if your listening on Apple podcasts and telling at least one person about the show and that they can find it wherever they listen to their podcasts.
Thanks again and I’ll see you on the other side
Mom: Angelica, can you say good-bye?
Angelica: Good-bye, good-bye.
Mom: Thank you.
Angelica: Thank you.
Episode summary: This song & dance we do to engage with our children, is it a requirement? What do I mean by song & dance? I mean do we have to know how to be clowns, princess & princes, pirates, singers, songwriters, dancers, comedians, the ultimate performer to be an engaging parent? Will our children be missing something by us not providing them with constant stimulation and entertainment? No, but it is important. Let’s make sure we’re keeping that entertaining quality in check though. Stillness, quiet, free space and boredom are all necessary for their development, their own exploration of the world and imagination building. For this episode we’ll examine how to find the balance between being ON and calming the eff down.
Let Me Entertain You
- Being ON vs Calming the f@#% down
- What does it mean to be ON
A Short Story Before We Go:
- The impact of the arts on children, aka How I Got My Equity Card
The Raise a Glass Series:
- The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
- Today’s lyrics – “Take a Break” ~ Eliza Hamilton
- More fun Hamilton links: The Hamilton Mix Tape
Episode transcript: See full transcript below.
Spread a Beautiful Act of Kindness:
- Rate the podcast (and leave a kind review if you feel so inclined)
- Tell one person you know you enjoyed this podcast and they should check it out
These links are to podcasts or books that are important to me as a mom and have helped me on my journey of growth to create this podcast:
- The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
- Unruffled podcast by Janet Lansbury
- The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel, Ph.D
-------------------------------------------------
FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Mom: Angelica, can you say hello?
Angelica: Hello! Hello?
Mom: How are you today?
Angelica: I doing well…how are you?
Mom: Well I’m doing well also. (she laughs)
Welcome to MFA: The Parenting Edition, I’m Taisha Cameron. These lessons from the theatre for raising ourselves and our kids came about when I realized my MFA in acting trained me for life as a mommy better than life as a full-time actor. Today’s episode is all about the song & dance of parenting. We’ll explore some challenging questions, I’ll share some stories, and then we’ll end our episode with the Raise a Glass Series. So, without further ado, this is MFA.
Quote: “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players;” Jaques in As You Like It
Episode Three – Let Me Entertain You
Question - this song & dance we do to engage with our children, is it a requirement? What do I mean by song & dance? I mean do we have to know how to be clowns, princess & princes, pirates, singers, songwriters, dancers, comedians, the ultimate performer to be an engaging parent? Will our children be missing something by us not providing them with constant stimulation and entertainment?
When I first became a mom, I felt like I needed to entertain my daughter all the time. I was in a constant state of “let me entertain you.” At the times I was feeling less than eager to “perform” I had to find some other way of keeping her stimulated or suck it up and do that jig cause that’s part of the job, right? This is where my training is supposed to come in handy, I’d think to myself. In school I’d spend 16-18 hours a day either in class or rehearsing for multiple projects, memorizing lines, doing character work, dancing, singing, clowning, mask work, accent work all as part of my studies. Now, I have one baby and I don’t have to schlep all over the city like a bag lady, so this should be easy. I can focus all my creative energy on giving her everything she needs and wants.
It would work…until it didn’t. And it wasn’t just my daughter it stopped working for, it was for me too. I burnt out. I’d wonder, how is this possible? I’ll tell you. Children are energy vampires. They sniff that shit out and will suck the energy from any life force within a twenty-foot radius. That’s their talent. If they steal too much of your power they become overstimulated and lose their damn minds. If there is not enough energy for them to feed on, they are under stimulated and lose their damn minds. So, what do we do? Take, for example, a baby:
Do you want the bouncy chair? Yeah? Ok, bouncy chair, bouncy chair, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy chair. Bo-bado-boo-badoo. And we put the vibrations on yes? {make vibration noise}. Alright munchkin is that better? No, that’s not helping. What if…I put on the tv, ahh oooh look at that, look at all those bright colors. Isn’t that fun? Why are you still crying? Alright ok ok ok, mommy’ll put some music on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no don’t worry sweetie I’m not going to take the pictures away, the sounds just going bye bye. Yeah, say bye bye sound. Bye Bye sound. Now we put the music on your little iPad on your little iPad, do you wanna hear The Wheels on the Bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, or If You’re Happy and You Know It clap your hands? You know what, we’re just gonna go with God and say If You’re Happy and You Know It. Which, yep, nope I get it now it’s definitely not that one. How about a change in playtime partner, let’s get daddy – ok, let’s get daddy…oh daddy’s still knocked out from your last playtime together, god dammit. Alright, ok, that’s fine mommy’s here and I can sing you a song and we’ll have so much fun…
I’m so glad I’ve come across some of the books and podcasts on parenting that have reminded me doing less is okay, at times essential, not just for me as a mom but for my daughter too. For this episode I would love for us to find a balance between being ON and calming the fuck down.
What do I mean by being ON? I’ll answer that after this.
Angelica Interlude
Elmo (aka Mom): But now we’re gonna go to the beach? How are we gonna find anyone if we’re at the – whoa ho ho, Elmo likes the beach! Oh this is so much fun, let’s build a sand castle!
Angelica: No, let’s go in the water. (she giggles)
Elmo: Ok. Elmo likes that.
(she giggles)
Elmo: Splash splash splashing splashing with Angelica splash splash splashy in the water. Splash splash splashing –
Angelica: Wait!
Elmo: What happened?
Angelica: We have to find Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig…
Elmo: I thought you wanted to go to the beach? Elmo’s so confused right now, Elmo doesn’t know what to do. Does Elmo stay at the beach, -
Angelica: Yes
Elmo: does Elmos build a sand castle,
Angelica: Yes
Elmo: does Elmo look for Peppa Pig? WHAT SHOULD ELMP DO?!
Angelica: Build a sand castle. (she laughs)
Elmo: When in doubt build a sand castle. Let’s do it, yeah, yeah baby.
Angelica: Say wait, say Gelica, you’re sitting in Elmo’s spot.
Elmo: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Gelica! Gelica’s sitting in Elmo’s spot.
Angelica: (laughing) I know that!
Elmo: Silly Gelica! Ha ha ha he he he!
Angelica: (laughing) This is the best family vacation I’ve never seen Elmo.
Elmo: This is the best family vacation we’ve never seen.
So being ON.
Have you ever been in a room full of musical theatre actors? No? You’re so lucky. I have. It’s a little like this:
Imagine being surrounded by a gaggle of prepubescent teeny boppers who were just gifted backstage passes to see their favorite boy band. The shrieking, the hysteria, the “Oh My God, Oh My God,” the hugs after hugs after hugs, and more “OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD”! All the while secret hexes are being conjured to cause explosive diarrhea among the other’s so they’ll shit themselves in front of the band and die of total mortification.
I love actors, I love musical theatre actors but y’all know you’re always ON. Right?! Like, these words should not be a surprise to you. I can’t possibly be the first person saying this out loud.
Being On. Like a light switch. Flip it on and boom electricity. It’s working, it’s bright and hot and will consistently be that way until the bulb burns out.
For actors, if you’re ON you’re ready, electricity is flowing. 5 songs are sitting in your voice box ready to belt at any moment, 3 of them are fully choreographed: pas de barre, pas de barre, kick ball change, pirouette, fan kick; you got your classical comedic monologue, classical dramatic monologue, contemporary comedic monologue, contemporary dramatic monologue, monologues with accents, monologues from the show you’re currently in, monologues from the show you’re currently in that are not your role – when you got all this running through your veins and you come out the gate hot with everyone you interact with like you’re constantly auditioning, that means you’re always ON.
For parents, being ON is what I described earlier with my daughter Angelica when she was a baby. It is Let Me Entertain You Time so that you’ll be happy so I’ll feel like a good caring successful parent. It is Make Believe Time all day every day and you commit to your role like your life depends on it. Each activity you introduce to them is a celebration. Actual celebrations turn into full on events. Story time is not just story time but Masterpiece Theatre. Every parents level of ON is different based on their relationship with their imagination and sense of play. I can get down and play the most insane of games and understand the jibber jabber of toddlers and kids. That is one of my many talents. I can read a crowd of kids and pivot to new tactics and ways of engaging without ruffling my feathers too much. For the love of God, don’t ask me to do the same thing with middle or high schoolers cause all my magic vanishes. There are those in the world who have this gift and I say “Thank you Jesus.” My age group cuts off at 10. That gives me at least another good 7 great years with my daughter! So, for me, and people like me with a high threshold for imaginative play and theatrical antics we’re the ones who need to dial it back sometimes and calm the fuck down.
For those who have a more difficult time tapping into imaginative play learning how to be ON is a huge game changer in connecting with your kids. We spend our time teaching them to eat with a fork, use the potty, drink from a glass, share their toys, and all these other necessary life skills. Modeling how to play and access their imagination is another skill worthy of developing. Exploring ways to engage your sense of play and wonder is both for your children’s benefit and yours. I’m sure there’s tons of science that’s been written on these benefits – you should try and find it. I am not a scientist I’m an artist and my suggestions and observations are purely subjective. This is what I see from my relationship with my own daughter and the large number of kids that I’ve either taught or been blessed to have engaged with through my life. What I know is, when our kids see us be silly and weird it gives them permission to do it too. It also puts us right in the present moment with them. It sparks our imagination to look at objects in a new way and question how things work, we begin seeing the world through the eyes of our kids and no longer the eyes of an overworked, overstressed, cynical, pessimistic adult. It’s about showing our kids all the possibilities of play and having them take the reins and we come along for the ride like this ride is the most important and special ride that’s ever been created in the history of the world. Because at that moment, there with our kids, it is.
So, is the song & dance of parenting necessary? I think so. Finding ways to play in our life is what makes life worth living. That sense of play is what the theatre gives to us. But let’s make sure we’re keeping that entertaining quality in check. Stillness, quiet, free space and boredom are all necessary for their development, their own exploration of the world and imagination building. Let’s all commit a little time each and every day to jumping into imaginative worlds with our kids and seeing where it takes us.
A Short Story Before We Go
If we had to drive across these Oklahoma flatlands one more time I was gonna throw myself out the van. The van that smelled of coffee, cigarettes, dirty feet and stinky boy farts. 8 guys and 3 girls; if it were reversed the smells would’ve been way different. I couldn’t even tell you what month of the tour it was. I could, however, describe in detail the green and yellow-brown fields of Oklahoma...oh, that’s it, they’re green and yellow-brown. We performed in Oklahoma City a while back and had been cutting across I-40 from one state to another for weeks now. This time we were returning to perform.
Enid, Oklahoma.
Didn’t even know this place existed. And we were supposed to be at a middle school, which clearly had to have been a mistake cause this show was geared towards a younger audience. But there was no mistake soooo…this was gonna be hell.
We’d had terrible shows before: we’d forget our lines we’d make shit up, we’d intentionally try to get each other to “break” onstage (that’s an industry term for break character) – I didn’t, I longed to keep the integrity of our hip-hop Alice adventure through the big city; I played Alice. Basically, we got to the point we were trying to keep the show interesting for ourselves. Now, we were going to face teenage mutant ninja demons – otherwise known as middle schoolers. The last time I was around middle school kids, was when I was substitute teaching after college and got locked out of my classroom by these maniacs. They are my least favorite age group. I don’t know if it’s something I need to be in therapy for, but kids of this age, collectively, put me in a rage. We were going to be mocked, booed and laughed off the stage. It was going to be 45 minutes of pure hell.
And then an angel of mercy was sent from above.
Oh, they laughed alright, but at the jokes not us. They were invested, they participated, they clapped, they hollered, they made the show come to life. I walked off that stage flying high. I think we all did.
The only other time I felt that level of electricity during a show was when we performed in Camden, NJ.
The theatre was packed with hundreds of kids. Their boisterous voices rang out from the moment they entered the theatre. The minute the house went dark they erupted into a firestorm of cheers and screams, all being shushed, in vain, by their teachers. It was as close as I’d ever get to being a rock star.
“No, don’t do that!”, “Look out, she’s behind you. Behind you! NOOO!!!”
They were captivated. When we took our bow to the deafening sound of children’s cheers of excitement, my heart felt like it would burst. We had given them a gift and they had accepted it with their full hearts.
Children are the most genuine honest audience you will ever perform for. If they’re not engaged, you’ll know it, immediately. They’re the modern-day equivalent of Shakespearean Groundlings. But when you got’em they are invested with all their soul. They want to go on the ride with you because you’ve won their trust. You win their trust by being authentically who you are and respecting them for who they are. When you’re ON from that place, kids can sense it and when you’re not, they smell bullshit. A lot of times we think kids have to prove their trustworthiness to us but it’s the opposite. They’re the one’s new to this world looking to us for guidance. They need to know who they can trust.
I realized after the show in Enid, Oklahoma the thing that connected these two audiences and made them so receptive to our little touring show – a lack of access to the arts. We brought them something they most likely would never have had the opportunity to experience. It made me so aware how vital the performing arts are in sparking joy, educating, inspiring, and connecting to people across vastly different backgrounds. The arts are humanities bridge.
And that’s how I got my equity card.
Raise A Glass Series
The Raise a Glass Series is a space for reflection and gratitude centered around the topic of the day and inspired by lyrics from Hamilton the Musical.
“Take a break”
Three little words. So simple.
But...our kids are running wild, we’re behind on work, there’s so much cleaning, we must keep them busy, we must keep them stimulated, there’s so much cleaning, gotta get’em off the tv – fuck it, let’em watch the tv, did I mention there’s so much cleaning, and on and on it goes. Have we allowed our kids to just be bored, to have free independent play as an essential part of their day, have we set up our homes for them to successfully have that free independent play, have we taught them to do some of the cleaning and organizing as part of their responsibility in the home, have we made our self-care a priority and not a wish on a falling star?
I am not good at taking time for myself, self-care is not always a priority. When I neglect it too long I suffer, my husband suffers and my daughter suffers. What I have been learning is the importance of taking a break. My daughter is an only child and I have felt that it was my job to be her constant playmate. It’s not. It’s called a union break, ladies and gentlemen. If we’re gonna make being a parent a job by calling it parenting then damn it, we need breaks. So, I set my home up for Angelica to do things independently and when she starts whining that she doesn’t want to I say, “Figure it out Alexander, that’s an order from your commander.” (I don’t but boy I’m gonna start saying that now)
So, let’s raise a glass to setting up our lives to take a break, allowing our children to get bored and get a break from us too. With great boredom comes great creativity. We can’t be ON when we need to if we’re running on empty.
So, take a break.
That’s all for today guys and dolls. Thank you so much for joining me again. With all the ridiculousness that comes with life my hope is this brings some joy to your day so your light can shine brighter.
Next week we’ll be talking about forgiveness.
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Thanks again and I’ll see you on the other side
Mom: Angelica, can you say good-bye?
Angelica: Good-bye, good-bye.
Mom: Thank you.
Angelica: Thank you.